3 Things Your Husband Really Wants You to Know

As someone who has
plenty of experience
with husband(s),
I assure you …

This is what your husband wants you to know.

If you don’t know my story of being
widowed twice,
you can read it here.


Your husband wants you to be
committed to him.
Not just the marriage, to him!

It’s not enough to just avoid divorce.

Marriage isn’t 50-50.

Divorce is 50-50.

Marriage takes an ALL IN,
ALL THE TIME commitment.

You won’t believe how I learned this lesson!
Let me save you the humiliation.
You can read about it here.

If your man came home and told you
 he was willing to stay married to you,
but he didn’t feel any
commitment, desire or attachment to you,
how would you feel?
Oh, he’ll pay the mortgage and
go to the Christmas parties,
but he’s only in it for appearances and the kids. 
With you, he’s done.


Be committed to your man,
not just to the marriage.


You husband wants you
to affirm him.

Remember when you were dating? 
You couldn’t take your eyes off of him.
You laughed at all his jokes. 
You told everyone
including your mother and best friend
about all his great qualities.
You were fun and you had fun together.

He thought you were going to be like that
after you got married, too.

The most important person
in your husband’s life
is YOU!

You have the potential to
undermine him or empower him
by how you love him.


Figure out how to tell him,
You rock my world and I’d be lost without you!

Then do those things!

Speak kindly to him.
Speak well of him to others.
Smile at him every time you see him.
Look at him when he talks to you.
Pray for him.
Iron a shirt.
Scratch his back.
Watch his team win (or lose).
Solicit his advice.
Watching admiringly as he lifts a heavy object.
Complimenting his prowess with something that baffles you.
Praise his work.
Applaud his parenting skills.
Buy him a gift.
Kiss him like you mean it.

Demonstrate your commitment to him
by affirming him.


Your husband wants you to know
he has your best interest at heart.
You can trust him.

If you base your expectations
of marriage
on what you read
in magazines and romance novels,
your man will fail you often.

Your man can’t read your mind.
Men aren’t very good at picking up hints either.

It’s highly unlikely that your husband
stays up at night plotting ways
to make you miserable.

Forgive him for not being perfect.

Generally speaking, what you focus on grows.
Think back to the things
that made you want to marry him.

Make a list of all his great qualities as a

Dwell on those things about him and
believe he has your best interest at heart.

Marriage is hard work,
but you can make it
easier on you
and on your husband
by being the best wife you can be
instead of focusing on
what’s wrong with
your marriage and your man.

Scripture Refresher: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Colossians 3:12-14 NIV

 Let me know your best marriage must-do.
I’d love to hear what works for you.


  1. sue wals on April 7, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    Robyn. this is great advice that more women need to know. keep spreading the truth !!!

  2. Emily on April 7, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    I did all of those things, and got cheated on. He did none of those things, but I loved him and was faithful anyway.

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 8, 2017 at 10:31 am

      I’m so sorry Emily. God bless you for doing your best.

  3. Cleonice Palmer on April 7, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    You are great!!!

  4. Joyce Towers on April 7, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    I have a very good marriage. Before we got married we told each other that we liked who we are now and that we didnt want to change each other. So far it works very good. I liked the way he was and didnt want to change him and the same for him. He does what he did before we met me and I do the same. But we do a lot together. We have a lot in common . This marriage is a lot better than my first one and for him the same. He know how much he means to me and I know how much I mean to him. Always telling each other that we love them. Never go to bed with out saying it and say it first thing in the morning. I couldnt ask for a better husband.

    Thanks Joyce

  5. Del Bates on April 9, 2017 at 6:58 am

    Robyn, Great word… I love what you said and the importance of it. I know I’ve learned the importance of always saying thank you for the things he does around the house… Especially when he cooks. To appreciate it and NEVER to complain if it’s not exactly how I would have made something. I am blessed to have a guy who likes to cook!.. Again, Great word…

    bless you,

Leave a Comment