I’ve been stuck lots of times.

  • Out of gas.
  • Out of money.
  • Out of time.
  • Out of patience.
  • Out of my comfort zone.
  • Out of my league.
  • Out of God’s will.

Girlfriend, I have learned an important lesson in these seasons of not enough.

I have learned to ask for help.

Sounds so easy, but ugh, who wants to do it? Wouldn’t you rather be the one who comes to the rescue? The one who drops off the meal or writes the check or offers the good advice? 

Yeah, me too. But sometimes we’re the ones who need the help. That’s when it’s time to call in reinforcements. Someone who will talk you out of the tree you’re in or pray for you like your life depends on it or brainstorms a strategy of transformation.

I ask for help even if it’s awkward. Or if it’s embarrassing. Even if it’s humbling. I ask for help. Do you? Can you? Ask for help?

As hard as it is to admit I’m not superwoman, here’s what I’ve discovered about asking for help.

1.

Asking for help shrinks the problem – just by speaking it aloud.
When the only voice in my head is my own, fear and worry multiply.
When you talk about how you’re stuck, the issue usually shrinks. 

2.

Asking for help puts more than one brain, back, and pair of hands on the problem.
When I ask for help to get unstuck, I always get several suggestions I hadn’t thought of.
The weight and the work of the “stuck” is handled more easily when I have help.

3.

Asking for help honors the person I ask to help me.

  • When I ask someone to teach me how to do something, I’m saying, “Hey, you’re really good at this!”
  • When I ask someone to advise me, I’m saying, “You’re wise or smart!”
  • When I ask someone to hold me accountable, I’m saying, “You’re strong and I trust you!”
  • When I ask someone to pray for me, I’m saying, “You have won my confidence and I believe you hear from God.”

It’s a win – win for everyone.

I get the help, support, advice and prayer I need and my helpers get edified, complimented and honored at the same time.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness! It’s wisdom. 

Don’t get schnookered into thinking you can’t ask for help. You can. God never intended us to live this life alone, or scared. We are created to live in community with believers who love and support one another. 

What have you learned from asking for help? Leave me a comment below.

 

Scripture: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down,one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

Prayer: Father, You did not create us to do this life alone. Help me to ask for help as easily as I offer help to others. Remind me that I need not be alone and you have put sisters in Christ in my life to be the extra hands and feet when I cannot do it myself.  Amen

12 Comments

  1. Rose Kamwesa on October 6, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    I ask for help always because most of the times I find myself helpless and frustrated then when help comes the stress and tension that comes with helplessness disappears.

    • Robyn Dykstra on October 7, 2019 at 2:22 pm

      Amen to that Rose!

  2. Myrna on October 6, 2019 at 11:20 pm

    My son’s caregiver quit. He has a physical disabled that is difficult to do alone. I try to do it myself but am so exhausted. I realized that I do not have to be “Super Mom “. This article made me realize that it is ok to ask for help. Thanks I really needed this right now.

    • Robyn Dykstra on October 7, 2019 at 2:22 pm

      I’m so glad this came at the right time, Myrna.
      Praying for you to get the help you need for your son – both the immediate needs and the long term needs. amen!

  3. Susan Marlene on October 7, 2019 at 1:28 am

    Greetings Robyn! Hmmm well, I like that you brought up the fact that asking for help shrinks the problem! Also, you showed me that when I ask for help then that shows my esteem and respect and trust in the person that I’m asking to share their expertise! Nice post, Robyn! 🙂

    • Robyn Dykstra on October 7, 2019 at 2:21 pm

      Thanks Susan! I appreciate you!

  4. Judith Greene on October 7, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    Asking for help has always been a problem for me. When my husband and I lost everything and had to file for bankruptcy, it really became apparent that we needed to learn how to ask for help.
    One thing that I learned at that time was that, just as I derived great joy out of giving, I needed to allow others to learn to be givers and experience that same joy. I am instinctively a giver. I think probably that is true of many Christians. After all, didn’t our Father give us the greatest gif, His only begotten Son? Didn’t His Son, Jesus, give His life?
    They set examples for us of what giving looks like. We mistakenly have thought that joy only comes from the giving, when in fact joy also comes from receiving. Can there be any greater joy than the joy that came from the gifts of the Father and the Son?

    • Robyn Dykstra on October 7, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      Judith,
      Thank you for so clearing putting this into words. Heaven sent.
      God bless you!

  5. Jean Grubbs-Esper on October 7, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    Thanks Robyn. So many of us never ask for help. I’m one of them. Feel like I’m bothering people. Everyone is busy. This year I’ve asked for more help than I ever have. Not physically able to do things on my own now. Pray for me.

    • Robyn Dykstra on October 7, 2019 at 2:17 pm

      Jean,
      I’m so proud of you for letting others help you. Well done.
      Praying for you to be strong in your faith, mind and body. amen

  6. Martha Jane Webb on October 8, 2019 at 10:43 am

    Thank you for your words of faith and hope.
    I need to remind myself that once I ask for God’s help I need to “Be still and know that He is God” Is 46:10a. It’s so easy to ask God to help and yet take it back and proceed to handle it myself.
    Also, it’s been hard for me to let people help me as I became independent as a single mom for 8 yrs. I was afraid to ask a man for help because I didn’t want his wife or girl to think I was “after their man”. All because my “Christian friends” in my church pulled away from me as if I were a threat or something. Believe me, I was scared to death of men and wanted nothing to do with men at that time in my life, coming out of a marriage with infidelity, alcoholism and abuse. Anyway, 8 years later I let my guard down and said, “ok God if you have someone for me plunk him right down in front of me, because I’m not looking!” God answered that prayer and plunked my now husband in my life.
    God is good! I let my guard down after a couple years and I’ve learned that it’s ok to ask for help. And that God provided me with new friends that are there for me and me for them any time! God is good!

    • Robyn Dykstra on October 8, 2019 at 2:16 pm

      What a great testimony! Thanks for sharing Martha.
      It’s not a man that saved you, it’s surrendering to God and doing what He directs.
      Well done!

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