Asking for Help is NOT a Sign of Weakness.
My Hot & Hunky Hubz was a gear-head.
Restoring old cars was therapeutic for Jay.
Girls, our garage looked like an auto repair shop!
Big tool chests lined the back wall.
Wrenches and widgets hung on pegboard wall to wall.
Shelves and shelves of solvents and solutions were propped up by
decades worth of car magazines and manuals.
A fat red compressor as tall as me hissed and clicked next to
huge welders accessorized by heavy metal masks and thick gloves.
There was a sandblasting stall that doubled as a painting bay.
Jay reserved one stall inside his precious space to park my car but
the rest of the building was all man cave.
One day, shortly after Hot & Hunky died,
my car wouldn’t start.
Naturally, I called a tow truck.
After a short wait, a big truck backed up the driveway.
Beep… Beep… Beep…
Out jumped a Burly Man.
“Thanks for coming so quickly. My car is in the garage and it won’t start.”
“Ok, Lady, let’s have a look,”
said Burly Man as we walked toward the garage.
When I swung open the garage door, Burly Man stopped in his tracks.
“Is this a joke, Lady?” he asked as he looked around.
“No! The car really… won’t … start ….”
Then I saw what he saw.
Floor to ceiling automotive tools.
Everything I needed to start my car was right there,
but I didn’t know how to use them!
I was stuck!
I blushed, shrugged my shoulders and smiled weakly.
He went to work and had my car purring in minutes.
(I had left the dome light on and just needed a jumpstart.)
He was still shaking his head and muttering as he left.
I’ve been stuck lots of times.
Out of gas.
Out of money.
Out of time.
Out of patience.
Out of my comfort zone.
Out of my league.
Out of God’s will.
Girlfriend, I have learned an
I have learned to ask for help.
Even if it’s awkward.
Even if it’s embarrassing.
Even if it’s humbling.
I ask for help.
Do you ask for help?
Sounds so easy, but ugh, who wants to do it?
Wouldn’t you rather be the one who comes to the rescue?
The one who
drops off the meal or
writes the check or
offers the good advice.
Yeah, me too.
But sometimes we’re the ones who need the help.
That’s the time to
call in reinforcements.
Someone who will talk you out of the tree you’re in or
pray for you like your life depends on it or
help you brainstorm a strategy of transformation.
As hard as it is to admit I’m not superwoman,
here’s what I’ve discovered about asking for help.
Asking for help shrinks the problem – just by speaking it aloud.
When the only voice in my head is my own, fear and worry multiply.
When you talk about how you’re stuck, the issue usually shrinks.
Asking for help puts more than one brain, back, and pair of hands on the problem.
When I ask for help to get unstuck, I always get several suggestions I hadn’t thought of.
The weight and the work of the “stuck” is handled more easily when I have help.
Asking for help honors the person I ask to help me.
When I ask someone to teach me how to do something, I’m saying,
“Hey, you’re really good at this!”
When I ask someone to advise me, I’m saying,
“You’re wise or smart!”
When I ask someone to hold me accountable, I’m saying,
“You’re strong and I trust you!”
When I ask someone to pray for me, I’m saying,
“You have won my confidence and I believe you hear from God.”
It’s a win – win for everyone.
I get the help, support, advice and prayer I need and
my helpers get edified, complimented and honored at the same time.
Don’t get schnookered by our enemy into thinking you’re alone in your stuckness!
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness!
Scripture Refresher: Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)
Prayer: Father, You did not create us to do this life alone. Help me to ask for help as easily as I offer help to others. Remind me that I need not be alone and you have put sisters in Christ in my life to be the extra hands and feet when I cannot do it myself. Amen
Your insight into a person’s heart and mind is truly God inspired! Thank you Robyn for sending your emails.
I love teaching others what has helped me. It’s a pleasure to be part of your inbox!
Thank you! So refreshing to be reminded it’s RIGHT to ask for help! But, How can you help someone else see it’s ok to ask for help? Especially when they need it, but don’t want it…AKA too proud?
That’s a tough question. It’s difficult to help someone who doesn’t think they need it. Can you simply be available by reaching out, calling or sending a card. Maybe if you establish that it’s no trouble for you, they would reach back.
Well said, Robyn. Laying our pride aside and being vulnerable is frightening. But if we don’t shed light on the darkness it only grows bigger and eats away at us from the inside. I know from personal experience and in my work with others that when people are vulnerable they are actually the most beautiful…because they are walking in truth-“I’m scared”, “I don’t know what to do”, “I’m in over my head.” What a blessing to walk in the truth of the challenges of life with someone because here’s the honest to goodness truth…we all have challenges!
I couldn’t agree more! It takes tremendous courage to ask for help, but the benefits are remarkable.
I’m glad you’re all in!
Easter Sunday I had to call for help. I was on my way in to Church I hit my sandal on the crack of the cement parking lot. I went down hard on my left hand n broke my wrist. I hit my left temple area n broke my glasses. I needed stitches on the eye brow so they used glue. I hit my head hard but it did not knock me out. They told me I needed surgery. The joint had fell down a little. I said I was from MI. He had me see a specialist the next day. He said if it was still stable he thought I would be alright to go home. The xay was OK. I had surgery the 6th of April. I am doing pretty good but can’t DRIVE. Help came n called the ambulance. I didn’t mind asking for help in this case. Your friend, Shirley Balentine.
Sorry to hear of your fall. I hope you continue to get the support you need as you mend.
Robyn , I am so Thankful for your words of wisdom . I have always thought of myself as a fixer & when I read the article it hit home . I was diagnosed with MS in 1997 & now I am unable to do things I’ve always accomplished in the past , on my own . It is hard for me to ask for help & thankfully God keeps me humble & provides me with strength , courage & direction to face each new day with positive thoughts . I am thankful for the little reminder to be comfortable asking for help . God Bless you ?
I am so encouraged by your comments. I hear you say it’s no lack of faith to call on sisters in Christ for assistance, advice and support. That’s why God created us for relationship with Him and each other.