Be My Valentine

Valentine’s Day is upon us. 

Florists, jewelers, chocolatiers, and card companies want your man to declare his love with big bouquets, diamond baubles, and fancy boxes of deliciousness accompanied by a $12.99 greeting card.

Good grief!!!

Valentine’s Day is not my favorite holiday. For many years, I had no man to shower me with gifts. Now, I have a man who thinks practically, not romantically. He is thoughtful and kind, but he is not a flowers and chocolates kind of guy.

V is for Validation

In the years we’ve been together, I have learned to redefine V-Day to avoid arguments and disappointments. Valentine’s Day has morphed into a day to remember to validate one another.

Validate means to:

  • Confirm.
  • Approve.
  • Support the truth about something.
  • Substantiate the value of someone.

There’s no expenditure of funds. It’s an investment in our relationship that reaps benefits for a lifetime. You should try it! Imagine what would happen if you and I spent the next week, month, or year validating others? Not dominating them. Not flattering them. No manipulating them. Just affirming and validating them!

Be deliberate.

This isn’t just for Valentine’s Day or romantic relationships. Case in point, my friend, Anna* tried validating coworkers. She attentively listened to other concepts and agreed to try new ideas instead of bulldozing her plans.

At home, she quit correcting her husband about the way he organized their bills, loaded the dishwasher and handled the children.  She chose to affirm his efficiency and parenting skills.

Instead of harrumphing in long lines at the grocery store, she began complimenting counter clerks and cashiers.

At coffee shops, she smiled at the baristas and fellow patrons.

Everywhere she went, she affirmed, approved, and validated people. You know what? Anna was happier. Everyone around Anna was happier. She created environments that were cohesive and complimentary!

Roman numeral V validation challenge.

V is the Roman numeral for 5. Today, do 5 things to validate the people in your life. Do it everywhere you go and watch the changes. It’s exhilarating! It’s addicting! Best of all, it’s contagious!

Are you in?

Will you use this Valentine’s Day to initiate a new protocol of spreading kindness and goodwill by validating your people at home, at work, at the store, and where ever else you find the opportunity?

Let me know if you’re in and who you’ll start practicing on today. Mr. 4-Ever is at the top of my list, followed by every service person who helps me this week. 

Verse of the day: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10 (NIV)

Prayer: Oh Jesus, I want to be more like you.  Help me to be a source of affirmation and validation. Be my guide and illuminate opportunities for me to demonstrate your love and kindness all around me.

P.S. Remember, if your man doesn’t bring you 3 dozen roses and a 2ct. diamond ring hidden in custom made chocolates for Valentines Day, look for ways to validate HIM anyway.


  1. Cathy B Miller on February 14, 2021 at 11:19 pm

    I am aside. My friend Gayle is also a widow . We had a great time at church followed by brunch. I helped her carry in some things from her car when we got home. I spent the afternoon organizing the lap quilts my mom is making for the American Legion. mom and I had a nice dinner this evening.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:39 pm

      Sounds like a beautiful day with lovely people
      Thanks for another reminder about how Valentine’s day is not just about romance and money!

  2. Jackie Householder on February 15, 2021 at 12:25 am

    I constantly validate others and look for opportunities to do so. Although I don’t see many people during this pandemic, I try to make contact by phone, cards and letters. I’m the happiest when I’m doing for others.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:36 pm

      You are the queen of encouragement in all its forms.
      I want to be just like you.
      Thanks for inspiring me… and for the good ideas.

  3. Janice L Hauenstein on February 15, 2021 at 12:30 am

    That is the way it has been for my husband and myself and on the 11th of February we have been married for 54 years..

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:34 pm

      Shazam, Janice. How wonderful.
      Congratulations and thanks for letting me know.
      Very inspiring and encouraging.

  4. Lorie Z on February 15, 2021 at 2:23 am

    Happy Validation Day Robyn and Mr. 4Ever ?

    I love the idea of validating others, I just really need to practice more at home with those I love the most. Why is it so hard??

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:33 pm

      Oh Girl, I do not understand why the ppl I love the most get the worst of me. Ugh.
      That’s why I wrote the post.

      When I blow it, I just start over and with Holy Spirit help, do better this time.

      Thanks for posting. Appreciate the company. 🙂

  5. Sheri Fullom on February 15, 2021 at 4:29 am

    Thank you, Robin. I loved this, and I agree that validation is a beautiful investment in others. Blessings!

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:29 pm

      Lovely to hear from you, Sheri. So appreciate you writing.

      YOU are the best of making sure we are validated by Holy Spirit with your music.
      I hope I get a chance to be ushered into the throne room listening to you worship.

      Give your girl a hug and a sniff for me. ?

  6. Judith Greene on February 15, 2021 at 5:07 am

    When my husband and I were younger, we would do all of the commercial Valentine’s things…candy, flowers, dinner, cards & gifts. Then came a time when we fell on hard times financially. We just couldn’t afford to continue doing those things. Instead, we would write each other a letter. I have to tell you, those letters meant more to me than any high priced card or gift! I still treasure them. While expensive cards have long ago been thrown away, I still have the letters. Now that we are retired and on a fixed income, we have to watch how much we spend. I can’t forget how my husband looked at me when I told him that I thought that this year we should go to the store…pick out the card we would like to give to each other…exchange them, read them and then put them back on the shelf! HAHA…I guess he thought I had turned into the ultimate cheapskate! Suffice it to say…we didn’t do that….but we did limit ourselves to cards. I cooked dinner at home and we exchanged cards. Somehow I can’t help but think that both of us secretly wished we had just wrote a letter to each other.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:25 pm

      Oh. My. Stars. You had me at … those letters meant more to me than any high priced card or gift.
      You might just have given me a new tradition for Mr. Ever.
      Thanks a million for writing.

  7. Bonnie on February 15, 2021 at 11:00 am

    I am in. I try to do this at work , but have slipped a little this past year and would like to get back on track. I will also try to validate my son who is presently living with us more often. Thanks for this encouraging idea!

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:21 pm

      Girl, you are not alone. I gotta preach this stuff to myself, too.
      What I know for sure is my grown boys need to hear validation from mama!
      Yours, too! Well done Bonnie.

  8. Tonya Tolley on February 15, 2021 at 11:51 am

    Love this message! I really need that prayer and verse and will work on being more deliberate about validating the people around me! Thank you as always for your positive reminders and outlook on life.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:13 pm

      Aw, thanks, Tonya. So glad to be a help. Not easy to be kind and considerate all the time.
      Trust me, I write these things to myself as much as for you.

  9. Kaye mounce on February 15, 2021 at 2:34 pm

    Amen Valentine’s Day is a hard day for widows.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:11 pm

      Ugh, you are not kidding. Those romantic holidays are often triggers of the heart.
      Thanks for writing. Praying Jesus is your hero.

  10. Risa Blyer on February 15, 2021 at 4:33 pm

    Thank you for the reminder, for your wise words, and examples of validating and encouraging others. It is good advice, and I am glad I read your message! Thank you for listing the scripture verse and prayer! God Bless you!

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:05 pm

      Hi Risa, Always a pleasure!

  11. Patsy Sturey on February 15, 2021 at 4:49 pm

    I also, am married to a Mr. Practical… The 15th of February (today) is our 47th Anniversary… I like the Validation idea in your Valentine message.
    I strive to validate him daily for the things he does on a normal basis… like going to my uncles (91) to get him breakfast and make sure he is doing well while i work… like shoveling our drive way… to making sure the parking lot at church is safe… to going to my dad’s (91) and step mom’s when they mess up their TV at 10pm …. all these things and so much more. He is a treasure to all who know him… while he drives me crazy at times; it is him I want to grow old with… oh wait a minute… we are there already…
    Thank you Robyn for your daily encouragement to us. When is your next on line bible study?

    I love you and pray for you and your ministry.

    Your sister in Christ in Ohio.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 15, 2021 at 8:03 pm

      Oh Patsy,

      It’s so very good to hear from you. I agree you have a treasure of a man. Isn’t it wonderful?

      Been thinking about what is next for me. Will keep you posted.

      Much Love,

  12. Susan D Fennig on February 16, 2021 at 2:40 pm

    I baked my husband a heart-shaped cake & gave him a card. He gave me 2 bags of maple clusters. He doesn’t believe in cards. He thinks they are a waste of money. Cards are a way I use to express my thoughts that I can’t verbalixe.

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 16, 2021 at 3:29 pm

      Susan, how creative you are.
      Sorry you didn’t get a card, too.

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