30 Day Goals Are Better Than New Year Resolutions

Chances are that if you made a New Year’s resolution, it’s already been compromised. Let’s face it, New Year’s resolutions don’t work for the vast majority of us.

Case in point, remember last month when everyone was smiling and cheerful and generous? And then New Year’s came and coasting on all those good holiday feelings, we made resolutions to lose 10,000 pounds and get out of debt, start exercising, stop being snarky and stay in touch with friends and family better … and then … we didn’t do any of it. 

Girlfriend, I’ll be honest, I run out of rockets fast. Setting goals for an entire year overwhelms me.

This year I’m trying something different. I’m setting 30 day goals. I can manage, tolerate or endure almost anything if I know it’s only for 30 days. Can’t you?

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Is It Bad To Do Good Works?

Bridgett was on the brink of a breakdown because she could not say no to anyone. If someone needed a meal, she cooked it. If someone needed a ride, she drove them. If someone needed a place to stay, Bridgett housed them. If someone needed a babysitter, she was there with graham crackers and crayons. 

To most people, Bridgett looked like the perfect representative of Christian faith. 

But the ugly truth of it is that Bridgett didn’t want to say no to anyone. She knew the dark secrets in her past and she was sure that God was mad at her for the choices she’d made.

By providing a hand up or hand out, Bridgett was hands down trying to make up for what she’d done and pay back what was paid in full. 

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Are You Mad At God?

When a woman I’ll call Clarissa approached me, I could tell she was troubled.  I mean, really under it.

She whispered, “I have had several things happen to me and I am very mad at God. What should I do?”

My heart broke for her. I didn’t need to know the details of her life to know what to say to her. I’ve heard stories from so many other women to know that the specifics don’t matter as much as being heard matters.

If that’s where you are, can I tell you what I told Clarissa?

That’s a hard place to be. I’m so sorry this is your situation right now. It’s really important that you not try to handle this on your own. Find a church or a counselor or join a group that will help you process your hurt and get your life back.

Here are 5 keys that will get you on track. 

  1. Remember that God can handle your anger.
    If you need to stomp and storm at the heavens, he understands that.
  2. Acknowledge your pain and hurt.
    It’s real. It’s no lack of faith to be upset with your life or circumstances.
    King David demonstrates this throughout the Psalms. Here is just one example: “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.” -Psalm 22:1-3
  3. Take responsibility for any part of the mess that is yours.
    Is there anything you need to do, any apologies you need to make, or any restitution to repay?  Do that.
    For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10
  4. Forgive anyone and everyone who hurt you and caused you this pain and suffering – including yourself.
    The longer you hold onto it, the deeper the bitterness and longer it will take to get through.
    Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13
    Remember that forgiving someone does mean you have to spend time with them. Forgiveness does not have to mean restoration of relationship.
  5. Ask God to invade your thoughts and dreams.
    Ask him to reveal himself to you and demonstrate his love to you.
    Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. – Jeremiah 33:3

Know that God does love you and is with you and wants so much more for you than you have right now.

Today, Clarissa is doing much better. She’s been working with me, and belongs to a community of believers who provided the prayer support and wise advice she needed to break free of the anger.

Now, she has her life back.

If you want yours back,  watch for the free workshop I’m offering on this topic and other aspects of the Christian faith starting Jan 10, 2019 on my Facebook page. 

Would You Settle For Less Than God’s Best?


I met a woman I’ll call Regina at an event where I was teaching women how to know they are worthy of great love and why they should never settle for less than God’s very best for them. 

Regina told me she’d come out of a life of drugs, alcohol and abuse. For a long time she didn’t love herself – couldn’t love herself. 

You know the voices. Too late. Too much baggage. Too much damage. 

As a result, she tried to find love from men who took advantage of her. When that didn’t work, she covered the pain of rejection and abuse with drugs and alcohol. Substance abuse made her more vulnerable to being used by men which made her feel worse, so she used more drugs and the cycle perpetuated itself. 

Finally, she got sober, found Jesus and cleaned her life up. But without anyone to teach her or disciple her, her desire to be good led her to settle into a compliant obedience instead of a becoming a fervent follower of Jesus. 

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Is God Your King or Your Body Guard?

 

 

A couple weeks ago, I was speaking at a retreat and I told the story of when I was saved by Jesus. 

My boyfriend had taken me to a Christmas program when I received the good news that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, who died to pay for my sins and rose from the dead after 3 days in the grave. That because he was raised from the dead, I could be, too.  

That was good news! So I took out a get out of hell insurance policy and got saved.

I was saved ……… but I wasn’t surrendered. I wanted a Savior, but I didn’t want a King. I wanted to rule my own life.

I proceeded to treat God as a body guard. God was to stay out of my way unless my life was in imminent peril, then he had my permission to toss around a lightening bolt or two to save my life.

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Do You Fall For This Lie?

Do you find yourself isolated because you believe the lie that you’re not worthy of help? 

A woman I’ll call Milly went through a season of utter yuck. As a woman of faith, she dutifully went to church but didn’t want to bother anyone with her troubles. (sound familiar?) Thinking that she could will her way back to wholeness, she ended up isolating herself.

When asked how she was doing, she said she was fine.But without anyone to speak life into her, she sank deeper and deeper into loneliness and despair.

Then she heard me talk at a retreat about how the enemy needed her to stay on the fringe of community so he would be the only voice in her head. About how trying to do life on your own is not the way God intended us to live.

It was like a light bulb went off in her head.

She realized that she’d been schnookered into believing that she was an imposition. A burden. Unworthy.

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Does Asking, “Why?” Keep You Up At Night?

I speak at 40 or so Christian women’s events a year so I know what keeps women up at night. One of the biggies is WHY? Why God? Why did this thing happen?

When the world spins out of control or someone hurts me or I lose a precious possession or person, I cry out to God.

But I don’t ask why anymore. I’ve come to realize that I don’t really want to know WHY. I truly only want the lost to be found, the broken to be fixed or the stolen to be returned.

I don’t really care why, I just want my life back!

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What Big Mistake Is Taunting You?

 

 

Have you ever made such a big mistake or huge mess that you didn’t think you’d ever recover?

Everywhere I speak, without fail, women ask me how to recover from their BIG mistake. You know the kind, right? The awful, embarrassing, shameful, foolish kind of mistake that taunts you endlessly. The kind that makes you blush, shake your head at the memory of it or hang your head in shame.The kind of mistake that won’t let you go and won’t stop reminding you that you should have known better or should have resisted or should have run away.

I will never forget where I was when the (bleep) hit the fan and I was caught in my sin.

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Your Kindness Will Potentiate God’s Love

 

Kindness is one of the most important disciplines of faith we can develop on our journey to trust and follow Jesus.

It’s the universal language of love that morphs us into women who look, sound and act more like Jesus. When we clothe ourselves in kindness (Col. 3:12), we affect people in a positive and lasting way.  

It’s foundational to our faith because as the role model for all things, Jesus WAS and IS kind. His death and resurrection was the ultimate self-sacrificial act of kindness. The way He continues to intercede for us to the Father is a perpetual kindness.

Kindness is different from generosity in that it requires nothing more than an intentional action.

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Does God Listen to Your Prayers if You’re Naughty?

As a national Christian speaker, I hear the secret questions that women ponder. One that keeps women up at night is,
Does God listen to my prayers if I’m naughty?

There are those who will tell you that God does not listen to the prayers of sinful people. I’d have to disagree. If being naughty disqualified you from having God’s ear, no one would have it.

  • Especially not a murderer like Moses or Paul.
  • Hotheads like Peter and Samson would certainly be disqualified.
  • Rebels like Jonah and Abraham would never get God’s attention.

Priscilla Shirer says, “Do you really think God loved you enough to die for you but doesn’t love you enough to talk to you?”

Now it’s true that if you have a huge sin in your life, it could be an obstacle to hearing from God.

But, that’s on you. God doesn’t distance himself from us. Our shame and guilt keeps us from approaching himI recently had a falling out with a girlfriend. I hurt her feelings and there was a rift between us. Consequently, I did not go out of my way to see her or call her or run into her. I even avoided going to places where I knew she’d be! The disharmony between us made me want to avoid her. It wasn’t until I acknowledged my mistakes, said I was sorry and asked her to forgive me did I want to spend time with her again.

The same is true when I hurt God. When I am being naughty, or haven’t dealt with my sin, I do not want see him, or hear him or be with him … until I admit my misstep, say I’m sorry, and ask him to forgive me. Only then will I want to spend time with him. Only then will I feel worthy to approach him. 

If God didn’t listen to the prayers of naughty people like me … and maybe like you, he wouldn’t hear anyone’s prayers.

But he does. The Bible says so. Jer 33: 3 says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”  God is on the edge of his throne waiting to hear from you. 

The Lord loves to hear from naughty people like me and you… so he can tell us that we’re forgiven and we’re loved, and that he has wonderful plans for us.

What’s holding you back from talking to God today? Drop a comment below and tell me what your prayer is today. 

Prayer: Lord God, I am so thankful that you are always at the ready to hear from me, guide and direct me, forgive me and reset me. Thank you for a do-over every time I need one. Your love sets me free. Amen.