by Robyn Dykstra

Are You A Hottie?

Magic of menopause.

If you have entered the magic season of life called menopause, you are likely to be a hottie. Oh, I know, we all used to wish we were hotties, with hour glass figures and smooth skin, but never in all my years did I imagine how hot I would be in my “golden years”.

Last week, Dave innocently asked me why we still had flannel sheets on the bed and I told him it’s cuz he’s married to a hottie.

If you’re a hottie, too, listen up. You need flannel sheets in the summer.

You need flannel sheets because they are so absorbent.

When your body flashes nuclear, a glistening moisture (also known as sweat in more unrefined circles) forms on my body and I need the absorbency of flannel to sop it up.

You need the flannel sheets for their warmth. 

After the glistening moisture appears, the evaporation process begins, and I am suddenly cold in 85 degree heat. You need flannel sheets to keep you warm.

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in Funny / Life Lessons 12 comments
 by Robyn Dykstra

Are You A Blame Shifter or Peace Maker?

Two Speeds

As usual, I was in a rush. I seem to have 2 speeds: asleep and hurry.

I was late getting home, and in my flurry to get out of the garage and into the house, I shoved open my car door with too much enthusiasm and it clunked into the lawn mower with a thud. 

“Dang it! That’s gonna leave a mark,” I hissed.  Sure enough, I was horrified to find a looooong, angry, black mark scarring the car door. DOUBLE CRUD! How am I going to explain this to Mr. 4-Ever?  

I have already wrecked this car twice. Every time I say to my man, “Honey, I need to talk to you,” he jokingly responds, “Robyn, did you wreck the car again?”

Shifting the blame. 

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in Funny / God / Life Lessons 10 comments
 by Robyn Dykstra

Do You Need To Say Yes to Less?

Almost everyone I know is busy and stressed. We are working harder than ever before and it’s taking it’s toll. God did not intend for us to live in a state of constant commotion.

How do you get your life and schedule back? Say yes to less. 

You ever eat at one of those swanky fondue restaurants? Mr. 4-Ever and I got to try one a while back. A $50.00 gift card had been tucked into a thank you card to us and thought we’d won the lottery. What a treat!

First, a bowl of melted cheese and a tray of bread cubes and small pieces of fruit was delivered along with those long pronged forks. We gobbled it all up. It was so good, I could have been done right then.

A salad bursting with flavor appeared next. You have to eat the greens to offset the barrel of cheese you just ate, right?

A pot of hot seasoned oil and a tray of raw meat and seafood followed the salad. One tiny bit at a time, we got full, but we didn’t stop because the bites were so small, we could easily fit one more tidbit in. And it was all SO GOOD! And we might never have this opportunity again!

When I was sure I could not eat one more thing …THERE WAS DESSERT!

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in faith / Funny / God / Life Lessons 4 comments
 by Robyn Dykstra

Approach With Caution!

Do you ever suffer a serious case of stubborn self-sufficiency? How about arrogance? Judgmentalism? Smug conceit? Ugly qualities, but I have to admit, I ran them all today. 

It all started when I lost my car keys. Also, my new barrettes (still in the package), two socks (not a pair), and my ultimately my temper. It wasn’t a world class Rumpelstiltskin snit; it was a slow-burning internal sizzle. 

Do you do that?  Pretend it’s all good, but fume inside?

I was snippy because I don’t lose things. I just don’t. I’m organized. I’m tidy. I put things away. It’s fair to say I’m even a little arrogant about my superior system for organized tidiness. There is a place for everything and everything should be in its place! But today I cannot find my things. 

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in change / Funny / Life Lessons 0 comments
 by Robyn Dykstra

I’m A Hottie, Are You?

Girl, I’m a hottie, especially at night. 

It’s not that I used to be a Playboy Bunny that makes me a hottie. 
It’s not cuz I have a voluptuous figure. 
What makes me a hottie is my hormones!

If you’re a hormonal hottie, too, listen up.
You need flannel sheets in summer. 

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in Funny / Life Lessons 1 comments
 by Robyn Dykstra

From Unmet Expectations To Realized Blessings

Mr. 4-Ever was at deer camp last week. It made me think of this funny story.
It happened several years ago but the lesson is as true today as it was then.

Girlfriend! It is my expectation that when daddy goes deer hunting, mama gets a staycation complete with chick flicks and good chocolate! Not that decoy candy you keep around so your kids stop looking for your stash. 

When my man goes to deer camp with the boys it means there will be no one in my house asking for food, beverages, clean socks or a back rub.  There will be no one who needs advice, an extra $20.00 or a ride somewhere. There will be no one playing the piano badly, tracking a trail of mud through my kitchen, or falling off the jungle gym requiring a trip to ER.

Deer hunting camp is great for everyone. The boys will eat bacon at every meal, sit around a fire sharpening knives to throw at trees and not change their undies for two or three whole uncivilized days.  

I could hardly wait for their adventure and my staycation.  

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in Funny / God / Life Lessons 0 comments
 by Robyn Dykstra

How To Boss Your Fear

Have you ever wished
you could
Boss Your Fear?

I took my teenage boys to an amusement park
and reluctantly agreed to accompany them
on a roller coaster ride.
It was one of those big, old, wooden monstrosities.
The kind of rollercoaster that
shakes and tosses you around inside the cart
until your sunglasses fly off your face and
most of the contents of your purse
fall into the abyss below the tracks.
As the roller coaster thrashed us about,
fear crawled up the back of my throat.
I thought,
Why did I ever agree to come on this ride?
I’ll probably die and my children will be orphans!

“This is terrifying!” I shrieked to my son.
“I hate this. How do I make it stop!”

“You can’t stop it, Mama.
You just gotta do it scared!”
my son yelled back.

There was nothing to do but hang on and ride it out.

Rationally, I knew that millions of people
had survived the ride,
but at that moment it didn’t feel like
I was going to.

Maybe that’s how you feel now.
Like you’re being rattled and shaken and
tossed about and that
you’re not going to make it.

Fear creeps up on you and
your mind is filled with
Why’s and What if’s?

That’s the ugly, scary part of fear.
The powerful unknown.

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in Bible / change / Christian Women's Speaker / faith / Funny / God / Life Lessons 6 comments