March 24, 2019  by

Does Striving For Perfection Drive You Bananas?

Going Bananas

Early in our marriage, Mr. 4-Ever made the mistake of mentioning how much he enjoyed another woman’s banana bread. Not to be outdone, I took it upon myself to make his life complete by creating my own perfect loaf of banana bread. I tried a dozen recipes, but none of them turned out well.

We ate a lot of really mediocre banana bread and threw an obscene amount of banana bread in the trash. No matter what I did, I could not get the bread to come out right.

I cried. I whined. I obsessed.

Finally, Dave told me that his appetite for banana bread had waned. He said as nicely as he could that my insane pursuit of perfecting banana bread was done and I needed to quit wasting my time and our money. 

Perfection steals your joy and your time!

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March 17, 2019  by

Do You Need To Say Yes to Less?

Almost everyone I know is busy and stressed. We are working harder than ever before and it’s taking it’s toll. God did not intend for us to live in a state of constant commotion.

How do you get your life and schedule back? Say yes to less. 

You ever eat at one of those swanky fondue restaurants? Mr. 4-Ever and I got to try one a while back. A $50.00 gift card had been tucked into a thank you card to us and thought we’d won the lottery. What a treat!

First, a bowl of melted cheese and a tray of bread cubes and small pieces of fruit was delivered along with those long pronged forks. We gobbled it all up. It was so good, I could have been done right then.

A salad bursting with flavor appeared next. You have to eat the greens to offset the barrel of cheese you just ate, right?

A pot of hot seasoned oil and a tray of raw meat and seafood followed the salad. One tiny bit at a time, we got full, but we didn’t stop because the bites were so small, we could easily fit one more tidbit in. And it was all SO GOOD! And we might never have this opportunity again!

When I was sure I could not eat one more thing …THERE WAS DESSERT!

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in faith / Funny / God / Life Lessons 4 comments
February 17, 2019  by

Good or Bad – Your Habits Yield Powerful Results

Good or bad, habits yield powerful results when practiced.

When my boys were teenagers, they turned into eating machines. My baking dishes and freezer meal containers got bigger and bigger.

One night, I opened the refrigerator to take out the prepped meal for that evening, and I could see that a large scoop of the casserole was missing. I smoothed the contents to fill in the divot, popped it in the oven and waited. Sure enough, the guilty party asked, “Is this the same stuff that was in the fridge earlier?”
“Yes it is, Son. Why do you ask?”
“It tastes different,” he said.
“That’s because it’s cooked now!” I snarked back at him.

To protect them from salmonella poisoning and to preserve enough food to feed the entire family at mealtime, I started putting NO-NO post-it stickies on anything in the refrigerator that was off limits.

Uncooked food …
NO-NO!

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January 20, 2019  by

Do You Take Time To Rest?

Everything I read about a living a balanced life stresses the importance of taking time to rest. 

Really?
Rest?
The thought of rest stresses me out!

I’m too busy to REST!

I have a family to take care of, kids to shuttle, pets to clean up after, a house to run, meals to plan, groceries to buy, food to prepare, laundry to wash-dry-fold-iron and put away.  I have a full time job, meetings to attend, cars to maintain, books to read, a blog to write and a sidewalk to shovel.

Sound familiar? I’m sure it does. We women run from one thing to the next with nary a moment to spare. Who has time to rest?

The fact is that you need to rest as much as you need to breathe.

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January 13, 2019  by

30 Day Goals Are Better Than New Year Resolutions

Chances are that if you made a New Year’s resolution, it’s already been compromised. Let’s face it, New Year’s resolutions don’t work for the vast majority of us.

Case in point, remember last month when everyone was smiling and cheerful and generous? And then New Year’s came and coasting on all those good holiday feelings, we made resolutions to lose 10,000 pounds and get out of debt, start exercising, stop being snarky and stay in touch with friends and family better … and then … we didn’t do any of it. 

Girlfriend, I’ll be honest, I run out of rockets fast. Setting goals for an entire year overwhelms me.

This year I’m trying something different. I’m setting 30 day goals. I can manage, tolerate or endure almost anything if I know it’s only for 30 days. Can’t you?

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January 6, 2019  by

Is It Bad To Do Good Works?

Bridgett was on the brink of a breakdown because she could not say no to anyone. If someone needed a meal, she cooked it. If someone needed a ride, she drove them. If someone needed a place to stay, Bridgett housed them. If someone needed a babysitter, she was there with graham crackers and crayons. 

To most people, Bridgett looked like the perfect representative of Christian faith. 

But the ugly truth of it is that Bridgett didn’t want to say no to anyone. She knew the dark secrets in her past and she was sure that God was mad at her for the choices she’d made.

By providing a hand up or hand out, Bridgett was hands down trying to make up for what she’d done and pay back what was paid in full. 

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December 23, 2018  by

Would You Settle For Less Than God’s Best?


I met a woman I’ll call Regina at an event where I was teaching women how to know they are worthy of great love and why they should never settle for less than God’s very best for them. 

Regina told me she’d come out of a life of drugs, alcohol and abuse. For a long time she didn’t love herself – couldn’t love herself. 

You know the voices. Too late. Too much baggage. Too much damage. 

As a result, she tried to find love from men who took advantage of her. When that didn’t work, she covered the pain of rejection and abuse with drugs and alcohol. Substance abuse made her more vulnerable to being used by men which made her feel worse, so she used more drugs and the cycle perpetuated itself. 

Finally, she got sober, found Jesus and cleaned her life up. But without anyone to teach her or disciple her, her desire to be good led her to settle into a compliant obedience instead of a becoming a fervent follower of Jesus. 

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December 2, 2018  by

Do You Fall For This Lie?

Do you find yourself isolated because you believe the lie that you’re not worthy of help? 

A woman I’ll call Milly went through a season of utter yuck. As a woman of faith, she dutifully went to church but didn’t want to bother anyone with her troubles. (sound familiar?) Thinking that she could will her way back to wholeness, she ended up isolating herself.

When asked how she was doing, she said she was fine.But without anyone to speak life into her, she sank deeper and deeper into loneliness and despair.

Then she heard me talk at a retreat about how the enemy needed her to stay on the fringe of community so he would be the only voice in her head. About how trying to do life on your own is not the way God intended us to live.

It was like a light bulb went off in her head.

She realized that she’d been schnookered into believing that she was an imposition. A burden. Unworthy.

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in Bible / faith / God / Life Lessons 2 comments
December 2, 2018  by

Does Asking, “Why?” Keep You Up At Night?

I speak at 40 or so Christian women’s events a year so I know what keeps women up at night. One of the biggies is WHY? Why God? Why did this thing happen?

When the world spins out of control or someone hurts me or I lose a precious possession or person, I cry out to God.

But I don’t ask why anymore. I’ve come to realize that I don’t really want to know WHY. I truly only want the lost to be found, the broken to be fixed or the stolen to be returned.

I don’t really care why, I just want my life back!

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November 25, 2018  by

What Big Mistake Is Taunting You?

 

 

Have you ever made such a big mistake or huge mess that you didn’t think you’d ever recover?

Everywhere I speak, without fail, women ask me how to recover from their BIG mistake. You know the kind, right? The awful, embarrassing, shameful, foolish kind of mistake that taunts you endlessly. The kind that makes you blush, shake your head at the memory of it or hang your head in shame.The kind of mistake that won’t let you go and won’t stop reminding you that you should have known better or should have resisted or should have run away.

I will never forget where I was when the (bleep) hit the fan and I was caught in my sin.

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in God / Grief / Life Lessons 0 comments