Life Lessons Archives - robyndykstra.com

July 7, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Sin is Delicious

Sin is delicious. I wish it weren’t so, but it is.

Just this past weekend I almost dug brownies out of the garbage can. The willpower I had to toss them in the trash at 6pm was completely gone at 10:30pm and I wanted those brownies in the worst way. Who cares that I’d have to rummage through the garbage can outside with a flashlight? So what if I had to scrape a few coffee grounds off of them? I thought, Tomorrow, I’ll resume my “eating plan”, but tonight, I’m bingeing on brownies! If Mr. 4-Ever hadn’t caught me in the act, I’m sure I would have written this blog with fingers covered in gooey chocolate.

I never meant for this to happen.

I work with so many women who get caught up in things they never dreamed would hook them.

June 24, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

The Secret That Changes Lives

When Sylvia and I started working the same shift, I liked her right away. She was smart and confident and full of life. She had good ideas to make the work flow better and it was fun to be in her cubicle space.

At lunch, I often read my Bible or worked on a Bible study. Sylvia had no interest in God, but she was intrigued with me. “How can you go through so many hard things and not be angry at God?” she asked when I told her I was working at the office because my husband had died at 39 leaving me to take care for our two kids by myself.

As we learned more about each other, I realized Sylvia’s performance at work was exemplary but her personal life was messy. Her weekends were parties and binging and hooking up.

When she first started to tell me about her raucous weekends, she anticipated being judged, shamed, and lectured. But instead, I showed Jesus’ love to her.

Sharing the secret

As she accepted my acceptance of her, she stopped trying to shock me and began to confide in me, asking for advice. It was the open door to talk to her about Jesus.

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June 10, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

My Finest Recipe

The recipe everyone wants.

Last week, I made the best balsamic Brussel sprouts … ever! They were so good, everyone at the potluck wanted the recipe. (That didn’t surprise me, cuz I got the recipe at a different potluck.)

Though the recipe was simple, the dish was not easy to make. It took planning, timing, prepping and double-checking the instructions to make sure it would turn out well. But it was worth it to see it consumed with glee and share the goodness with others.

We readily share recipes for lasagna, banana bread and glazed Brussel sprouts, but what’s the recipe for a life that works?

The recipe for disaster.

I tried all sorts of things before Jesus.

Drugs.
Men.
Food.
Shopping.
Will-power.

Nothing worked till I surrendered my life to Jesus and found a woman to disciple me. Louise recognized how quickly a girl like me, who knew little about God and nothing about the Bible, could get discouraged or misled, so she took me on like a project and never made me feel like one. She provided a safe space for me to ask questions I was too embarrassed to ask in class.

How do I talk to God?
Where do I start reading the Bible?
Is there forgiveness for my past?
How can I let go of the pits and patterns that keep me stuck?
Where do I find peace in the midst of cruddy circumstances?
How do I know if God is leading me or if it’s my own idea?

Louise discipled me from starting out to standing firm. Could you do that?

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June 2, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Exciting News Flash!

What’s overflowing in you?

I set up the coffee pot, hit start and walked away. Just like I’ve done everyday for the past umpteen years. When I returned to the kitchen a few minutes later, I heard the hiss of the overflowing liquid hit the hot plate and the drip, splat, splash of coffee flowing off the counter and onto the floor. Arrgh!

Since my coffee carafe is metal, I hadn’t noticed it was already half-full of coffee from the night before. I’d brewed a new pot on top of the cold pot – ruining both pots!

I had a mess to clean up and no coffee!

As I fussed and mopped and grumbled and wiped, God whispered in my ear. “There’s no room for me to pour my fresh stuff in YOU if you’re already full of yourself.”

Can you say ouch?

It had been a while since I had spent any time in prayer. My Bible lay dust-covered on the bed stand. I couldn’t remember the last time I paid attention in church or spent time in community with women who loved the Lord and studied the Bible together.

That lack of connection was showing up my behavior and demeanor. I was often irritable or discouraged.

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May 27, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Ever been scared? So scared and there’s nothing you can do about the situation?

I was just there and it wasn’t any fun, but I learned it’s never as hopeless as it seems and there is always something you can do about it.

Dave, who never gets sick, got violently ill. Pretty scary for a gal who’s already buried 2 husbands. He had a fever, chills, muscle aches, light-headedness and stabbing pains through his mid-section. Right away, I was ready to call an ambulance, but he wouldn’t hear of it.

Men!

Of course, I fretted and feared. But then I realized that while circumstances were out of my control, they weren’t out of God’s. I started banging on the gates of heaven for relief, and for healing, and I called in reinforcements to pray with me in agreement.

in change / faith / God / Life Lessons 20 comments

March 31, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Choosing People Over Projects

Balancing life’s responsibilities can be challenging. When choosing between people and projects, know your decision will come with long term consequences.

I recently spent a three weeks in Florida, staying at my parents during the week and speaking on weekends. Conveniently, my Mom and Dad live about 30 miles from Mr. 4-Ever’s folks. Both sets of parents live in “Resorts”, which are really a fancy trailer parks, but some marketing genius figured out that resort sounds a lot better.

When Dave and I made this plan, I told myself that when I wasn’t at an event, I would write during the day, then play in the evenings.

Working vacation is an oxymoron.

I didn’t get much work done and as the days piled up and the projects collected dust, my guilt grew until I was downright crabby! I wasn’t enjoying myself, my holiday or my parents!

It’s not that I’m undisciplined or that all my work was done. It’s that people are more important to me that projects. When I have people in front of me, especially people I love, and more especially, old people I don’t see very often, I want to be with them. Fully engaged. Fully present. With them.

So, instead of writing new material, I’ve been listening to great stories from our parents. Instead of slaving over my laptop, I’ve been playing games and lingering over meals. Instead of locking myself away in an office, I’ve been walking beaches in wide brimmed hats. I’ve been all in. And, it’s been great.

in faith / God / Life Lessons 9 comments

March 24, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Does Striving For Perfection Drive You Bananas?

Going Bananas

Early in our marriage, Mr. 4-Ever made the mistake of mentioning how much he enjoyed another woman’s banana bread. Not to be outdone, I took it upon myself to make his life complete by creating my own perfect loaf of banana bread. I tried a dozen recipes, but none of them turned out well.

We ate a lot of really mediocre banana bread and threw an obscene amount of banana bread in the trash. No matter what I did, I could not get the bread to come out right.

I cried. I whined. I obsessed.

Finally, Dave told me that his appetite for banana bread had waned. He said as nicely as he could that my insane pursuit of perfecting banana bread was done and I needed to quit wasting my time and our money.

Perfection steals your joy and your time!

in Bible / God / Life Lessons 8 comments

March 17, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Do You Need To Say Yes to Less?

Almost everyone I know is busy and stressed. We are working harder than ever before and it’s taking it’s toll. God did not intend for us to live in a state of constant commotion.

How do you get your life and schedule back? Say yes to less.

You ever eat at one of those swanky fondue restaurants? Mr. 4-Ever and I got to try one a while back. A $50.00 gift card had been tucked into a thank you card to us and thought we’d won the lottery. What a treat!

First, a bowl of melted cheese and a tray of bread cubes and small pieces of fruit was delivered along with those long pronged forks. We gobbled it all up. It was so good, I could have been done right then.

A salad bursting with flavor appeared next. You have to eat the greens to offset the barrel of cheese you just ate, right?

A pot of hot seasoned oil and a tray of raw meat and seafood followed the salad. One tiny bit at a time, we got full, but we didn’t stop because the bites were so small, we could easily fit one more tidbit in. And it was all SO GOOD! And we might never have this opportunity again!

When I was sure I could not eat one more thing …THERE WAS DESSERT!

in faith / Funny / God / Life Lessons 4 comments

February 17, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Good or Bad – Your Habits Yield Powerful Results

Good or bad, habits yield powerful results when practiced.

When my boys were teenagers, they turned into eating machines. My baking dishes and freezer meal containers got bigger and bigger.

One night, I opened the refrigerator to take out the prepped meal for that evening, and I could see that a large scoop of the casserole was missing. I smoothed the contents to fill in the divot, popped it in the oven and waited. Sure enough, the guilty party asked, “Is this the same stuff that was in the fridge earlier?”
“Yes it is, Son. Why do you ask?”
“It tastes different,” he said.
“That’s because it’s cooked now!” I snarked back at him.

To protect them from salmonella poisoning and to preserve enough food to feed the entire family at mealtime, I started putting NO-NO post-it stickies on anything in the refrigerator that was off limits.

Uncooked food …
NO-NO!

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January 20, 2019 by Robyn Dykstra

Do You Take Time To Rest?

Everything I read about a living a balanced life stresses the importance of taking time to rest.

Really?
Rest?
The thought of rest stresses me out!

I’m too busy to REST!

I have a family to take care of, kids to shuttle, pets to clean up after, a house to run, meals to plan, groceries to buy, food to prepare, laundry to wash-dry-fold-iron and put away. I have a full time job, meetings to attend, cars to maintain, books to read, a blog to write and a sidewalk to shovel.

Sound familiar? I’m sure it does. We women run from one thing to the next with nary a moment to spare. Who has time to rest?

The fact is that you need to rest as much as you need to breathe.

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