Would You Settle For Less Than God’s Best?


I met a woman I’ll call Regina at an event where I was teaching women how to know they are worthy of great love and why they should never settle for less than God’s very best for them. 

Regina told me she’d come out of a life of drugs, alcohol and abuse. For a long time she didn’t love herself – couldn’t love herself. 

You know the voices. Too late. Too much baggage. Too much damage. 

As a result, she tried to find love from men who took advantage of her. When that didn’t work, she covered the pain of rejection and abuse with drugs and alcohol. Substance abuse made her more vulnerable to being used by men which made her feel worse, so she used more drugs and the cycle perpetuated itself. 

Finally, she got sober, found Jesus and cleaned her life up. But without anyone to teach her or disciple her, her desire to be good led her to settle into a compliant obedience instead of a becoming a fervent follower of Jesus. 

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Do You Fall For This Lie?

Do you find yourself isolated because you believe the lie that you’re not worthy of help? 

A woman I’ll call Milly went through a season of utter yuck. As a woman of faith, she dutifully went to church but didn’t want to bother anyone with her troubles. (sound familiar?) Thinking that she could will her way back to wholeness, she ended up isolating herself.

When asked how she was doing, she said she was fine.But without anyone to speak life into her, she sank deeper and deeper into loneliness and despair.

Then she heard me talk at a retreat about how the enemy needed her to stay on the fringe of community so he would be the only voice in her head. About how trying to do life on your own is not the way God intended us to live.

It was like a light bulb went off in her head.

She realized that she’d been schnookered into believing that she was an imposition. A burden. Unworthy.

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Does Asking, “Why?” Keep You Up At Night?

I speak at 40 or so Christian women’s events a year so I know what keeps women up at night. One of the biggies is WHY? Why God? Why did this thing happen?

When the world spins out of control or someone hurts me or I lose a precious possession or person, I cry out to God.

But I don’t ask why anymore. I’ve come to realize that I don’t really want to know WHY. I truly only want the lost to be found, the broken to be fixed or the stolen to be returned.

I don’t really care why, I just want my life back!

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What Big Mistake Is Taunting You?

 

 

Have you ever made such a big mistake or huge mess that you didn’t think you’d ever recover?

Everywhere I speak, without fail, women ask me how to recover from their BIG mistake. You know the kind, right? The awful, embarrassing, shameful, foolish kind of mistake that taunts you endlessly. The kind that makes you blush, shake your head at the memory of it or hang your head in shame.The kind of mistake that won’t let you go and won’t stop reminding you that you should have known better or should have resisted or should have run away.

I will never forget where I was when the (bleep) hit the fan and I was caught in my sin.

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Does God Give You More Than You Can Handle?

Has anyone told you that God won’t give you more than you can handle? I’ve heard it plenty! And there was a time when I believed that nonsense.

Then I buried 2 husbands and my mama in four years. God definitely allowed more than I could handle!

I’m sure you can relate! Haven’t there been seasons when the kids were little and you got no sleep and thought you were losing your mind? When someone you loved was addicted or abusive and your feared for your sanity and safety? Hasn’t there been a time of lack, sickness, or upheaval in your life that you thought would crush you?

Of course there has. That’s when God does his best work. It is in the times of upheaval that we run to him for the healing, rescue, answers, resolution or miracle that is way beyond our own control or ability.

If we could manage to manage everything in our lives on our own, why in the world would we need God?

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3 Keys to Avoid a Meltdown

What season are you in?
Busy but beautiful? Easy and comfortable? Stressed out and crazy?

It’s fall in the midwest and that means an explosion of colors outside the window and roaring fires inside. It’s the season of comfort food simmering on the stove and pumpkins lining porch steps.

Fall launches women’s ministry and my weekends are packed with great places to proclaim the Name of Jesus and teach the Bible. I meet lots of lovely women and we belly laugh, cry and pray together.

It’s the best!

Have you had a season like that, busy but beautiful? Has God moved or whispered or maybe you’ve had a break through? Secretly, you wonder if God must love you more than he did yesterday. That’s how it feels when your passion partners with God’s purpose for you.

But then comes the attack.

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Reframe Memories To Rewrite Your Story

Does this happen to you? You’re cruising through your day, or your desk, or your drawers and you tumble back in time? You hear a song, catch the scent of an old flame, or find a photo from the good old days and your past comes roaring into your present. You can let the past haunt your future or you can reframe the memory to rewrite the story. 

While purging items in my closet that didn’t fit my style anymore, (or to be perfectly honest, didn’t fit my mature, more generously padded frame) I stumbled across two of my dead husband’s favorite shirts.

It stopped me in my tracks.

For decades those shirts lay folded and waiting to be put in rotation again. Even more than a photograph or nostalgic song on the radio, the sight and feel of them took me right back to a time when we were young and bulletproof and all was well with us.

I kept them because they reminded me of my Hot & Hunky Hubz who died in his sleep of a heart attack at the age of 39. I kept them because I thought one of my boys, who were 7 and 4 at the time of his passing, might grow into them and I would see them repurposed, resurrected.  I kept them because I thought I would see a version of Hot & Hunky again.

I held onto them because a part of me couldn’t let go of that time when all was well.

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Approach With Caution!

Do you ever suffer a serious case of stubborn self-sufficiency? How about arrogance? Judgmentalism? Smug conceit? Ugly qualities, but I have to admit, I ran them all today. 

It all started when I lost my car keys. Also, my new barrettes (still in the package), two socks (not a pair), and my ultimately my temper. It wasn’t a world class Rumpelstiltskin snit; it was a slow-burning internal sizzle. 

Do you do that?  Pretend it’s all good, but fume inside?

I was snippy because I don’t lose things. I just don’t. I’m organized. I’m tidy. I put things away. It’s fair to say I’m even a little arrogant about my superior system for organized tidiness. There is a place for everything and everything should be in its place! But today I cannot find my things. 

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Are Burning Coals Falling On Your Head?

Do you have anyone in your life that’s a handful? You know, really irritating? Downright difficult?  Be careful how you treat them or burning coals may be falling on your head!

One of the most challenging people I have ever had to accommodate was Hot & Hunky’s dad. He was ex-military and an ex-cop. He bragged about riding motorcycles year-round in the ‘60s. “Heck, yeah, (except he didn’t say heck) it was cold. We’d wrap our legs with newspaper as insulation under our uniforms. The department wasn’t full of wimps, women and weaklings like it is now.” 

After a series of crashes and altercations disabled him, he retired from the police department. Without a satisfying job and with little to do at home, he took solace in food and television, gaining a ton of weight, further handicapping his movements which made him cranky. 

He had some redeeming qualities. He was funny and charming when he wanted to be. He was kind to children and generous with his time and talent. He loved his family furiously, but he was a difficult patient for his sweet wife. We all waited for the day when he would pass, and relief would come to my mother-in-law.  

Then, POOF! She died. Just like that, it fell to us to take over his care. Hot & Hunky handled his finances and insurance, I took on the role of activity director and chauffeur. 

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Do You Trust God With The Impossible?

How good are you at trusting God with what’s on your heart and mind but out of your control?

Do you trust God with the impossible or do you fuss and squawk until there’s nothing you can do to make a difference and then slump into despair and worry? 

My son, Eli, graduates from bootcamp this week. It seems like only yesterday that he was toddling around the house in diapers. The years float by leaving a residue of precious memories to mark high state occasions. The first step. Every first day of school. Passing his drivers test. Watching him play football. High School graduation. His first job as a firefighter.

Each marker took Eli further and further beyond my ability to protect him. Joining the Air Force Reserves marked the final transition of my role from guardian to worrier, I mean warrior … of prayer.

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