Are You A Hottie?

Magic of menopause.

If you have entered the magic season of life called menopause, you are likely to be a hottie. Oh, I know, we all used to wish we were hotties, with hour glass figures and smooth skin, but never in all my years did I imagine how hot I would be in my “golden years”.

Last week, Dave innocently asked me why we still had flannel sheets on the bed and I told him it’s cuz he’s married to a hottie.

If you’re a hottie, too, listen up. You need flannel sheets in the summer.

You need flannel sheets because they are so absorbent.

When your body flashes nuclear, a glistening moisture (also known as sweat in more unrefined circles) forms on my body and I need the absorbency of flannel to sop it up.

You need the flannel sheets for their warmth. 

After the glistening moisture appears, the evaporation process begins, and I am suddenly cold in 85 degree heat. You need flannel sheets to keep you warm.

You need flannel sheets for their softness. 

All this climate irregularity makes me a trifle agitated. I need the flannel sheets for the
snuggling comfort I used to get from Mr. 4-Ever before I scared him to the opposite side of the bed.

“Don’t touch me, I’M HOT!!!”
Sound familiar to anyone?

You need flannel sheets for their comfort.

You would think all that heat would burn off a few extra calories, but apparently, instead of turning into energy, I am storing every calorie I ingest for the rest of my life.

I haven’t experienced weight gain like this since the 3rd trimester of pregnancy. 

I need my flannel sheets because, though all my clothes (including my socks) are tight, my flannel sheets are comfortable. 

You need flannel sheets for their texture. 

My thermostat isn’t the only thing running amuck. The flesh at my jaw, neck and chest is starting to look a little crêpey. Very reminiscent of raw chicken skin. I need my flannel sheets to sustain the delusion that my skin looks like it does in the morning from the pattern of the bedding, not from aging. 

Flannel sheets in summer. 

So when Mr. 4-Ever asked if we are taking the flannel sheets off now that it’s the middle of summer, I said as politely as I can, “No, we’ll be keeping them on a bit longer.”

Maybe you should, too.

You won’t find this suggestion on Pinterest. But if you’re a hottie, you will love it!

What’s your best suggestion for dealing with menopause? Leave me a comment below. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

Prayer:  God, I know this is just a season, and it will pass.  Give me the grace and humor to traverse through it with cheer.  Thank you for every day and for flannel sheets.  Amen.