Mother’s Day Debacle

Before I learned to focus on what I’ve got, rather than what I’ve not, I used to dread the Monday following Mother’s Day.

As if the cascade of FB posts on Mother’s Day weren’t enough to create a case of the covets, every conversation on Mother’s Day Monday was about being showered with attention and gifts.

Mr. 4-Ever is a great husband.

If I could, I would clone him and give him away as Christmas presents to women who want a Godly man with impeccable character.

But the clone would have to come with a disclaimer.
This is a good man. He is kind, gentle, loving, fun, hard-working, generous, and patient. He is creative and calm in all situations. He is a great kisser. but … a Harlequin Romance novel hero … 
He. Is. Not.

Rarely do flowers or chocolates show up on my desk. Good behavior gifts and just because “I love you” texts do not happen.

So, when I hear all the folderol other women enjoyed on Mother’s Day, something quite ugly rises up in me as I compare my man and day, to theirs. I forget all his fine qualities and focus on his 


Never mind, that Mr. 4-Ever
plants flowers I can enjoy everyday
from my window.
Never mind that he now does most of the cooking.
Never mind that he never leaves a mess in the bathroom
and takes complete responsibility for our car and home maintenance.
Never mind that he accommodates my ever changing mind,
and schedule, and preferences without complaint.
Never mind that he always seeks to make our lives
better, richer, and more enjoyable.

On the Monday after Mother’s Day,
Mr. 4-Ever’s ratings are low.

I’m thrilled with my man
until I compare
a snapshot of
someone else’s life to mine.

Comparisons kill contentment.

To get contentment back,
the Apostle Paul gives
just the advice we need to regain
our balance and contentment.

It hinges on

When contentment is displaced by contention,
because you’re comparing,


Focus on what you’ve got,
instead what you’ve not.

Each of us has mountains of things to be thankful for.
Count your blessings.

Be grateful instead of grousing.

Mother’s Day can be a trigger of ungratefulness.

In other seasons of life,
I’ve had to remember that I prayed for children …
especially when they were busier and messier than I ever imagined.

I had to remember how I begged for a
charming old farm house with lots of character …
especially when it needs constant upkeep and tender loving care.

I have to remember to trust God
with my speaking and writing ministry
when the blank screen stares at me and
there are lots of open spaces on my calendar.

To shift my attitude from
grumbling to grateful,
I have to focus on what I’ve got,
instead what I’ve not.

When I remember all I have to be grateful for,
my contentment falls into place,
my peace returns,
my effectiveness is multiplied,
and I am a delight to be around.

Do you need to adjust your thinking today?

Do you need to count you’ve GOT
instead of what you’ve NOT?

What do you do to keep from comparison crazy thinking?

Share in the comments below.

I’m sure it will encourage others to know we’re not alone.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Psalm 23 (NIV)


  1. Patti on May 19, 2017 at 1:58 am

    Thank you for this! It was great! I reallt needed to be reminded to be grateful for what I have!
    God Bless you!

  2. Ying McLane on May 19, 2017 at 2:52 am

    This is just what I need right now. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Thanks for reminding me to Look towards Jesus always, not constantly looking at Facebook updates!!

  3. Dawn Twyman on May 19, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    I am certainly struggling right now with contentment with all the crazy stuff life throws our way. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for what I have. the rest is just from the enemy and he can not win.
    God Bless you!!!

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 19, 2017 at 1:53 pm

      Amen, Dawn. Thank you for the reminder that we are already victorious. 🙂

  4. Karen Herteg on May 19, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    I AM THANKFUL for YOUR MINISTRY.And that I have internet, and SISTERS in CHRIST!. Thank you for reminding me to BE THANKFUL, when I tend to COMPLAIN. And I am THANKFUL I DON’T have FACEBOOK, and don’t want it. God Bless you today. Also, even though my mother’s day was not “picture perfect”, I am THANKFUL I have my mom.

  5. Beverly Egly on May 19, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    So encouraging. I needed to be reminded of all the blessings God has provided me and the plans he has for me. Thank you. I’m praying God will continue to use you in such a special Ministry.

  6. Dawn Simon on May 19, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    You are SO right! Thank you!

  7. Jane Keith on May 23, 2017 at 1:03 am

    Comparison is the thief of JOY. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 23, 2017 at 12:35 pm

      Jane, That same quote is on my desk! 🙂

  8. Tina Blomeke on May 24, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    Thanks Robyn, I really needed this reminder today! I appreciate you spreading The Word and impacting our lives.

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