Left out, Overlooked, Forgotten

The conversation turned awkward with the realization that I hadn’t been included in the festivities my friends were reminiscing about.

Not included.

Smiling faces beamed in the Facebook photos of a wedding I wasn’t invited to.

Not invited.

The note read, “Your old friend died last month. I’m so sorry, we just forgot to let you know …”

Not remembered.

What to do when you get hurt?

Hide? Curl up in the fetal position and suck your proverbial thumb till the hurt goes away … or till the next time or the next trigger reminds you you’re not enough.

Pretend? Post your own fun pictures and talk about your recent exploits. Put on a happy face and pretend being left out and overlooked doesn’t matter.

Retaliate? Blast a nasty text or post with tags galore … but even if you get some temporary relief or satisfaction, inevitably, a harsh response only causes more hurt and often bigger regret.

Go where you’re celebrated. 

Instead of burying your hurt or lashing out, find places and people who will celebrate you.

  • Run to a Godly friend who will remind you of all your wonderful qualities and put you back on track with kind assurances and wisdom.
  • Best yet, cry to God himself and wait for his peace to fall. For the Holy Spirit to whisper that you …
    • Are loved and accepted by the One who made you.
    • Will always be included in His plans.
    • Are never alone or forgotten.

Pursue God’s Presence.

Being left out, overlooked or forgotten feels rotten. But letting those hurt feelings fester and rule us is just as bad.

It’s in the Presence of God that we can find the grace, humility and courage to forgive those who didn’t invite us, include us, or remember us and where we can be filled with the holiness and peace and love of God. 

What’s your best advice for fending off feeling alone or forgotten?

Verse of the day:Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me— everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.  Phil. 4:6-9

Prayer: God, you are always with me even when I feel so alone and isolated and overlooked. Let me sense your presence and experience your love for me. In Jesus name, amen. 

5 Comments

  1. Linda L. McKenna on August 23, 2021 at 12:42 am

    Hi Robyn!!!

    My sister Sue may have already responded to you on this, as her Husband’s Son & Daughter in law have been doing the exact thing to her after losing her husband Steve.
    Also for my sake as I’ve gone thru the same with Jim’s sisters. YES siters-both of them.
    But I hold my head up high & keep in touch with thier daugherts, my nieces,
    I actually recently went to my niece Samatha’s wedding, just for her , her husband & her daughter Myia McKenna Lahm. Samatha had induced labor 3 years ago on the anniversary of my husband Jim’s death. January 3rd as a tribute to her favorite Uncle.
    I was ignored by his sisters except for a Hello.
    I went for my nieces & I had a great time. Thank you for sharing!!!
    Luv,
    Linda
    P.S. I will be emailing you to please keep me in your prayers for a health issue I recently found out-I don’t have time right now for the details, I will be getting back to you & fill you in soon.

    • Robyn Dykstra on August 23, 2021 at 6:57 pm

      Hi Linda,
      What a mess. I am so sorry. It truly stinks to be rejected. I admire you for ignoring the snub and attending your niece’s wedding. You and Sue take care of each other.
      I will pray for your health issue, too.

  2. Judi Asiala on August 23, 2021 at 1:46 pm

    My father was middle born of 9 kids and last to get married–at almost 40! I am the ‘”baby” of the first cousins, and only 3 years older than the oldest second cousin. I always felt aukward at family gatherings and usually went off by myself. Too young for the first cousins, and too old for the second cousins. Now I live 90 minutes away from most of my family and rarely hear from most. Only 2 cousins that I’m fairly close with, and friends with a couple more on facebook. I’m glad I have my church family. I’m never left out with them 🙂

    Judi

    • Robyn Dykstra on August 23, 2021 at 6:55 pm

      Hi Judi
      I found that to be true, too, that my sisters in Christ filled in a lot of gaps left by family.
      Thanks for posting!

  3. Lisa Pepp on August 27, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    Robyn,Thank-you so much for this E-mail. I say; What does it matter? Forgive them,they know not what they do. Sometimes it is pure ignorance and I pray for the people involved.”Forgive them, they know not what they do”

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