Happy Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day Monday

Before I learned to focus on what I’ve got, rather than what I’ve not, I used to dread the Monday following Mother’s Day.

As if the cascade of FB posts on Mother’s Day weren’t enough to create a case of the covets, every conversation on Mother’s Day Monday was about being showered with attention and gifts.


Now, don’t get me wrong…Mr. 4-Ever is a great husband.

If I could, I would clone him and give him away as Christmas presents to women who want a Godly man with impeccable character.

But the clone would have to come with a disclaimer.

This is a good man. He is kind, gentle, loving, fun, hard-working, generous, and patient. He is creative and calm in all situations. He is a great kisser.

But … a Harlequin Romance novel hero …  He. Is. Not.

Rarely do flowers or chocolates show up on my desk. Good behavior gifts and “just-because-I-love-you” texts do not happen.

So, when I hear all the folderol other women enjoyed on Mother’s Day, something quite ugly rises up in me as I compare my man (and day) to theirs. I forget all his fine qualities and focus on his shortcomings.


Comparison kills contentment

Never mind, that Mr. 4-Ever plants flowers I can enjoy everyday from my window.

…Never mind that he’s a grill master rivaling the best restaurant offerings.

…Never mind that he never leaves a mess in the bathroom and takes complete responsibility for our car and home maintenance.

…Never mind that he accommodates my ever changing mind…

…and schedule

…and preferences without complaint.

Never mind that he always seeks to make our lives better, richer, and more enjoyable.

On the Monday after Mother’s Day, Mr. 4-Ever’s ratings are low.


What do I do?

I’m thrilled with my man until I compare a snapshot of someone else’s life to mine.

Comparisons kill contentment.

To get contentment back, the Apostle Paul gives just the advice we need to regain our balance and contentment.

It hinges on BEING GRATEFUL.

When contentment is displaced by contention (because you’re comparing)  STOP!

  • Focus on what you’ve got, instead what you’ve not.
  • Each of us has mountains of things to be thankful for.
  • Count your blessings.
  • Be grateful instead of grousing.


It’s true…

Mother’s Day can be a trigger of ungratefulness.

In other seasons of life, I’ve had to remember that I prayed for children…especially when they were busier and messier than I ever imagined.

I had to remember how I begged for a charming old farm house with lots of character…
especially when it needs constant upkeep and tender loving care.

I have to remember to trust God with my speaking and writing ministry… especially when the blank screen stares at me and there are lots of open spaces on my calendar.

To shift my attitude from
grumbling to grateful,
I have to focus on what I’ve got,
instead what I’ve not.


When I remember all I have to be grateful for, my contentment falls into place, my peace returns, my effectiveness is multiplied, and I am a delight to be around.


How about you?

Do you need to adjust your thinking today?

Do you need to count what you’ve GOT instead of what you’ve NOT?

What do you do to keep from comparison crazy thinking?


Share in the comments below. I’m sure it will encourage others to know we’re not alone.



“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” –Psalm 23:1 (NIV)


  1. Risa on May 14, 2023 at 6:30 am

    Thank you, I needed this message today. Thank you for your honesty. God bless you.

    • Ruth Rottier on May 14, 2023 at 2:37 pm

      No guilt but be thankful you have a 4-ever husband. My hubby passed away six years ago today on Mother’s Day and now it’s Mother’s Day again. He is with the Lord and I am at complete peace. The Lord continues to bless me so no dark days here.

      • Robyn Dykstra on May 15, 2023 at 7:43 am

        Oh my goodness, Ruth. That surely puts things in perspective.

  2. Teresa Nardozzi on May 14, 2023 at 6:30 am

    Wise words my friend!! Here’s is my song for today:
    Happy Mother’s Day! Remember this is how your Heavenly Father sees you: (Even if your kids may not!!)
    She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. (???Proverbs? ?31??:?25?-?26? ?NLT??)

  3. Brenda Humphrey on May 14, 2023 at 7:52 am

    I also needed this today. I have to be grateful for the kids who do acknowledge me & Not the one who doesn’t. My husband does step in & help with that cuz he knows it hurts. You are such an inspiration to all of us Robyn! I love your books & we love you. Happy Mother’s Day.

  4. Sandy on May 14, 2023 at 8:13 am

    Thank you for this. I needed this reminder and will repeat it throughout the day today! And I will stay off of Facebook for the day!

  5. Bonnie on May 14, 2023 at 10:23 am

    Great reminder…thank you???

  6. Jossette Cramer on May 14, 2023 at 11:02 am

    I “envy” you moms who get to gush over flowers and cards for the opposite reason. My husband is great! My 27 year old daughter has decided this year to be done with me. God bless all of our families.

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 14, 2023 at 11:04 am

      Oh my heart, Jossette. I’m hearing about Parental Abandonment more and more. I am so sorry.

      • Lisa on May 14, 2023 at 4:44 pm

        Happy Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day was the day l did my Mom’s memorial service. It was just my sisters and Dad and l. Mother’s Day is still meaningful.

        • Robyn Dykstra on May 15, 2023 at 7:43 am

          So sorry Lisa. May the LORD’s peace follow you.

  7. Jan Starkey on May 14, 2023 at 1:16 pm

    I used to look at what others got for Mother’s Day and birthdays and anniversaries. I am lucky to have my husband say “Happy Mother’s Day”. I don’t get gifts or cards or candy. I had to adjust my thinking several years ago. I realized that what I was doing was coveting my friends and neighbors which is one of the things Jesus warns us not to do. I adjusted my expectations too. I do realize that my husband does a lot of things around the house. He is Mr. Fix-it. It seems he rises to the challenge of fixing something rather than buy a replacement. He just finished laying the vinyl laminate in half of our house. He is an amazing guy. I need to appreciate what he does rather than what he doesn’t do.

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 14, 2023 at 2:29 pm

      amen, sis! Right there with you.

  8. Kay Zehr on May 14, 2023 at 9:01 pm

    Thank you for your encouraging words & advice! I needed to read this! I will try to be better at counting my blessings & think positive thoughts of my husband instead of his shortcomings! Thank you again, Robyn! ???

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 15, 2023 at 7:42 am

      Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one who struggles with this.

  9. Roxanne Sarasin on May 15, 2023 at 7:40 pm

    Thank-you Robin for being honest and reminding us what we need to focus on in our husband . It is so easy to become critical sometimes and lose focus of all the positive things they do for us. Your words were a breath of fresh air and a great reminder. May Jesus continue to bless you and your ministry. ?

  10. Nicole Stevens on May 16, 2023 at 12:43 pm

    Gratefulness has been the current theme in my studies and meditation with the Lord. I was just speaking with my aunt and my roommate about how destructive comparison can be. The great thing about being thankful is that you can then trust God. When you trust God, then you end up being generous because you know God will provide. What a great God we serve!

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