You know what’s crazy? Well, maybe not crazy, but disconcerting? Watching your son grow into your husband’s looks, moves and dreams!
I watched Eli walk down the aisle wearing a black tux and a big smile. He married the girl of his dreams and they ate and danced and schmoozed the night away.
And I couldn’t help but see how he is his father’s progeny. His smile, his hands, his dance moves and his laugh were all very reminiscent of his father.
I only wished my Hot & Hunky husband had lived to see it with me.
Ours was a love story resembling a fairy tale.I was young and beautiful and Hot & Hunky was fearless and handsome. We met in college and it was love at first sight … for him.
He just wasn’t my type. Hot & Hunky was a Christian and while I didn’t know any Christians, from what I had heard in general and seen on 60 Minutes, I didn’t think they could not have any fun. Hot & Hunky didn’t seem to fit that stereotype. While he did have preposterously high standards: he didn’t drink or smoke or use drugs or sleep around, he
didn’t judge me for doing all those things. He went to movies, and came dancing. He told (clean) jokes and was easy to be around. I liked him a lot. Like a prince, he continuously rescued me: he picked me up when I got stranded, he took me to ER when a date went awry, he loved, encouraged, and cherished me. He treated me with respect and adoration.
After our freshman year of college I took a summer job as a Playboy Bunny, indulging in all that Playboy had to offer. It turned into such a good gig, that I stayed four years. Hot & Hunky remained responsibly at college, tearing up the football field while cranking out a degree in business.
When I left Playboy, Hot & Hunky showed up in my life again. This time he wouldn’t take no for an answer. We, that is I, fell in love and we were married.
I eventually found my way to Jesus, and our fairy tale continued with the addition of 2 beautiful sons and a cat that didn’t get into the trash.
When Hot & Hunky died in his sleep of a heart attack at the age of 39, I didn’t think I’d be able to carry on without him.
God was entirely faithful and gracious to me, comforting me, reassuring me, sending people my way to support me while I grappled with learning to be a widow and a single mom to my 7 and 4 year old sons.
I know Hot & Hunky would have stayed if he could. He would have kept our agreement to take the boys to the garage at the proper age to teach them about all things mechanical. He would have taught them how to drive and how to treat women. He would have shown them how to tie a Windsor knot and spit-polish shoes and fix a leaky faucet and a thousand other things that a man needs to know. He didn’t get the chance.
In spite of all the trauma and drama, our boys have grown into men who know how to do all the things their dad would have taught them.
It’s no small miracle.
On Eli’s wedding day, I reaped the benefit of my life with Hot & Hunky.
A life of trusting and serving an awesome God.
Do you trust God with the big stuff?
I hope so.
It takes practice. But that’s how God works.
Redeeming one piece at a time, till you can trust him with everything.
Scripture Refresher: Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
Prayer: Thank you, God for redeeming my life for eternity even when I recklessly disregarded you. Thank you for your constant presence in my life and for guiding me and my children through our grief and into wholeness again. Amen.