I Want My Mommy!

You ever have one of those days when you
just aren’t firing on all cylinders?

For the record,
I have no idea what a cylinder is,
but the expression means you need a tune-up.
It means you’re sputtering and stalling out.

I was walking across the kitchen,
got tangled up in my own feet,
tripped and 
went sprawling.

Sprawling, I tell you.


I looked like Wiley Coyote at the bottom of the ravine
in a Road Runner cartoon –
minus the puff of dust.

After I checked to see if I was paralyzed
(I wasn’t)
or if I had any broken bones,
(there were none)
I decided the best course of action was to
sit on the cold tile floor and howl.

I’m sure it was the shock of being upended,
but I carried on like a toddler.

I cried and I cried.
I want my mommy!

 Because moms make everything
Well mostly better.

The day a did my Wiley Coyote imitation
in the kitchen would have been
mom’s 81st birthday.

Twenty years have mitigated the sharp howling pain of her loss
to an occasional dull ache that
comes and goes the way
old joints are affected by humidity.

After all this time, I can go a long while without missing her,
but then,
like a storm blowing in from the North…

I’m engulfed in the
presence of her absence.

Like when I need advice for
parenting or
grammar or
where to buy a good purse or
what to put on my resume or
how to get over a broken heart …

Like when there’s an awkward fall.

Is your mama still around?
I miss mine today.

My mom didn’t know everything.
Turns out she didn’t know the most important thing.

She was so smart
she didn’t think she needed God.
She could manage everything herself.

Then she got sick.
Really sick.
Deathly sick.

None of the world’s vast
knowledge or education could save her.

I shared Jesus with her on her death bed.
She saw the Light.
She found eternal peace.

I am happy,
even relieved,
for where she is now,
but the very presence of her absence
is a constant reminder of how much I miss my mom.

Now that she’s gone,
God has filled in the missing places of her
comforting touch,
wise advice and
tender care
with sisters in Christ.
Friends I can call anytime and tell anything.

Who do you go to when you’re off kilter
or banged up?


It’s my deepest prayer for you that
if your mama isn’t that person for you, for whatever reason,
God will put a girlfriend in your life who will
comfort you in your deep sorrow,
sooth you in your craziest snits,
call you out on your sneaky stuff,
and celebrate your victories with
confetti wands and triumphant cheers.

Scripture Refresher:
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.
For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.
But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 NIV


  1. Laura Warfel on September 15, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    I can so relate. Robyn! My Mom has been gone for 13 years now. Although we sometimes had a stormy relationship, I still miss her laugh, the fun times we shared, the tomatoes she grew in her garden, and so much more. Thanks for sharing this today.

  2. Ruth Ann on September 16, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    Love your story. Ver true words. I likewise have a couple girlfriends I can talk to . More important though is God is always there to listen and guide.. In your writings you always bring the out. Blessings to you and please keep up your good works. You have touched so many lives.

  3. Karen Pratt on September 17, 2016 at 11:36 am

    I lost my mom 26 years ago and I still miss her every day. I was pregnant at the time and God blessed me with a beautiful daughter. I was blessed to have a praying God fearing mom who taught us about the love of God. It is going to be a wonderful family reunion when we all get to heaven. May God continue to bless you in all that you do for him. I met you at our women anew conference last year and enjoyed your stories but most of all your compassion and love for our Heavenly Father .

    • Robyn Dykstra on September 21, 2016 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Karen,
      May your mama’s prayers continue to bless you. 🙂
      Thanks for writing and for your encouragement!

  4. Michelle Fowler on September 20, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    Hey Robyn. Glad you weren’t hurt badly. My momma is still with us. She’s a great mom who is a christian. Long line of them. My great great Uncle Willis Gray, founded the First Christian Church and planted it in Manton Michigan. My grandma used to stand on milk crates and preach when she was very young. A large part of my family on my mom’s side still live there and we have our own cemetery sorta. Almost everyone in it is related. I have been blessed to have been raised by a christian family. Thank you for sharing that. God bless you and Dave!

    • Robyn Dykstra on September 25, 2016 at 9:50 pm

      It surely is a blessing to be part of a Christian family.
      I’m so happy for you and that your mama is still a big part of your life.

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