Key to Not Feeling Left Out!

Have you ever stumbled into a situation you wished you hadn’t?  

My feelings got hurt when several friends chattered away about a party EVERYONE had gone to. The conversation turned awkward with the realization that I hadn’t been asked to the festivities my friends were reminiscing about because I was no longer a party-girl. Not included.

My smile faded when I saw the beaming faces in my Facebook newsfeed of a friend’s wedding I wasn’t invited to attend. Not invited.

Tears fell hot as I read the note that my relative died but no one thought to notify me. Not remembered.

What do you do when you get left out?


I’m tempted to curl up in the fetal position and suck my proverbial thumb till the hurt goes away. 


Why not post my own fun pictures of a recent exploit, complete with big smiles and dead eyes.  


I resist the urge to blast a nasty text or write a blistering email. 


Where can I go to outrun the hurt?

A better solution.

When you are feeling left out, overlooked, forgotten, consider this. There is One who will never leave you or forsake you. That One has your name on his heart.

If you run, run to a Godly friend who will put you back on track with words of wisdom and comfort or correction. If you hide, hide in God’s Word where you see many of Biblical heroes and heroines experiencing their own moments of hurt sustained by His great love. Better yet, run to God himself. Cry out to Him and wait for his peace to fall. For the Holy Spirit to whisper to you are …

  • Loved and accepted by the ONE who made you.
  • Always included.
  • Never alone.
  • Not forgotten.

It’s in the Presence of God and the people who represent Him well that we can find the grace, humility and courage to forgive and extend our heart to those who didn’t invite us, include us, or remember us.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me — everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. Phil. 4:6-9

Leave me a comment to tell me what you do to ease the hurt of being left out or overlooked. 

Prayer: God, it hurts to be left out, overlooked, not included. Be the caulk that fills in the cracks of my broken heart. Remind me that I can trust you to always love me, celebrate me, invite me.


  1. Evelyn keller on November 4, 2019 at 12:48 am

    Thank you so much. Great timing. Every holiday season, I struggle over being estranged from my son and my 5 grandchildren. It’s been over 5 years now; 2 of the 5 grandkids I haven’t even met.
    Letting go and letting God is a daily prayer for me. One thing I do know- if I never see them again, Jesus will never leave me. He brings peace and comfort every day. My hope is in Him alone.

    • Robyn Dykstra on November 4, 2019 at 9:03 pm

      I am so sorry you don’t see your family. Your remarkable ability to take your hurt to God and let him comfort you is inspiring. Thanks so much for posting!!!

  2. Heather McDougall on November 4, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Look around and find new people to include!!! New friends are often the sweetest because….they are new to our community, they are entering a new phase of life and need more experienced friends, they just experienced a loss of friends too!

    It is tough when family excludes us, but my husband and I always try a little harder to make sure we don’t behave that way now or in the future!!! Our motto has been to “be the better in-law of the future!”

    • Robyn Dykstra on November 4, 2019 at 9:02 pm

      That is a good path. I love your motto!
      Thanks so much for posting this. So helpful!

  3. Maria Ramos on November 4, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    I love my God. So when in doubt I go straight to my Lord, he puts his wing around me, all my loneliness forgotten, and all that other things, Are Gone. I’m in the arms of My God

    • Robyn Dykstra on November 4, 2019 at 9:01 pm

      That is so healthy and wise, Maria!!!
      Thanks for posting!

  4. LaCynthia on November 4, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    Hey Robyn, this topic hit home with me. Sometimes my family & friends don’t mention upcoming events to me (by mistake) & yes my feelings get hurt at times. Even my co-workers at times will ask each other about lunch or going to take a break to get Starbucks, but don’t think to ask me because I sit around the corner from them (I’m not in their sight). I usually just ignore it & do my own thing. I used to mention it but now I just don’t even mention it to them. I know that i can ALWAYS turn to God for comfort. And I can read His word for encouragement. Yes it feels great to know He is always there for me. Thanks! ?

    • Robyn Dykstra on November 4, 2019 at 9:00 pm

      Copy that, LaCynthia. You are so right. We can all take a lesson from you about not picking up an offense about getting left out and trusting God to fill in the gaps with His Love.

  5. Wendy Henschel on November 4, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    I know now what I will do…I will reread this post! Thank you!

  6. LiZ Langevin on November 4, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    Certainly there are times of year or situations that make me sad, hurt and left out; but I am renewed each and every Sunday when I hear the Lords word, prayed with &for and get/give lots of hugs. When you fill up in God’s loving mercy n grace; I can be better prepared for the challenges of my week. I am a child of God, AMEN!

    • Robyn Dykstra on November 4, 2019 at 8:59 pm

      Preach it, LiZ! I loved reading your post. Inspiring!
      Thanks for writing!

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