Lessons learned in seasons of not enough.

Girlfriend, I have learned an important lesson in this season of not enough. Ask for help. Sounds so easy, but ugh, who wants to do it? I’m sure you’d rather be the one who comes to the rescue. The one who drops off the meal or writes the check or offers the good advice. I know I would. 

But sometimes we’re the ones who need the help. We mistakenly think joy comes only from giving, when in fact there is great joy that comes from receiving. We need to let others experience the joy of giving while we learn to receive the gift.

God gave us the greatest gift, eternal life through Jesus’ death and resurrection. And what joy we have receiving that gift! 

Call in reinforcements!

I’ve had 15 events cancel and more hang in limbo. UGH!!! I’d applied for unemployment but hadn’t heard anything back. No stimulus check in my mailbox.  With reserves low (emotional, social and financial), I needed help so I called in reinforcements.

I do not like being in this situation, but friends have paid for groceries, dropped money in my accounts, written sweet words of encouragement, lent me a listening ear and offered me great advice. While I have been sequestered in my home, they have prayed for good news in this time when I can’t share the Good News from a platform.

Immeasurable relief.

Though it was hard to admit I needed help, the feelings of relief were immeasurable. 

Call in reinforcements when you’re stuck. Ask a friend to talk you down from the crazy tree, or pray for you like your life depends on it, or brainstorm a strategy of transformation.

Ask for help even if it’s awkward. Or if it’s embarrassing. Even if it’s humbling. Ask for help.

Asking for help made easier.

As hard as it is to admit I’m not superwoman, here’s what I’ve discovered about asking for help.

1. Asking for help shrinks the problem – just by speaking it aloud. When the only voice in my head is my own, fear and worry multiply. When you talk about how you’re stuck, the issue usually shrinks and peace can be restored.

2. Asking for help puts more muscle, ideas and resources on the problem. When I ask for help, I always get several suggestions I hadn’t thought of and access to support I don’t have on my own. The weight and the work of the “stuck” is handled more easily when I have help.

3. Asking for help honors the person and blesses them. 

  • When I ask someone to teach me how to do something, I’m saying, “Hey, you’re really good at this!”
  • Asking someone to advise me says, “You’re wise or smart!”
  • If I ask someone to hold me accountable, I’m saying, “You’re strong and I trust you!”
  • When I ask someone to pray for me, I’m saying, “You have won my confidence and I believe you hear from God.”
  • Needing a meal or encouragement or gift provides them a way to bless you and feel great about helping. 

I get the help, support, advice and prayer I need and my helpers get edified, complimented and honored at the same time.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness!

Don’t get schnookered into thinking you can’t ask for help. You can. You’re not a bother or a burden or a loser. Listen, God never intended us to live this life alone, or scared or broken. We are created to live in community with believers who love and support one another. 

Girl, if you’re stuck or hurting or just plain feeble right now, ask for help. That’s how the body of Christ works. We are all in this together.  

Leave me a comment below about what you need right now and I’ll agree in prayer for you to receive it.

Verse for today: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

Prayer: Father, You did not create us to do this life alone. Help me to ask for help as easily as I offer help to others. Remind me that I need not be alone and you have put sisters in Christ in my life to be the extra hands and feet when I cannot do it myself.  Amen

8 Comments

  1. Lori Barnes on May 4, 2020 at 12:06 am

    I thank GOD for my church family I need help this last week and got help in pray and phone call PTL . It was a little hard but my family reach out to.me as md help

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 4, 2020 at 12:13 am

      That’s awesome Lori!

  2. Naomi L Sample on May 4, 2020 at 12:30 am

    Thank you for your encouraging words. It’s true we NEED to let other bless us. Your words are a true blessing.

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 4, 2020 at 3:31 pm

      Thanks for posting Naomi!

  3. Susan D. on May 4, 2020 at 1:05 pm

    I need to show this to my mother. She is 86 yrs. Old & my dad is 90. Mom fell & possibly broke her tailbone. She is in a lot of pain. Pray for pain relief & that she will gain her strength back. I need to show her this article on asking for help. She refuses to ask for help but would be the first one to help someone else. Asking for help is a sign of weakness and a sign that she is not as self reliant as she wants to be. Pray that my dad will be able to pick up on what she needs & do it even if it is not in his comfort zone. Pray that mom will accept his helping efforts without being critical. Pray that us kids can get them the help they need or that we can provide that help.

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 4, 2020 at 3:30 pm

      Oh Susan, I do agree with you in prayer for your mom to receive help without guilt and with a smile. I pray for your dad to be intuitive and responsive. I pray for the entire family to be knit together in harmony and of one mind making decisions and offering support. Jesus, let love abound. Amen.

  4. Sara Woodin on May 4, 2020 at 2:41 pm

    My husband works for UPS and we’re referring to this as COVID Christmas. The workload is almost as bad as their Christmastime workload without all the additional bodies. This means long hours and working 6 days a week. Which is the prayer request. The blessing is that just like at Christmastime, we are the weirdos earning more money when most people are working with less.

    My son is spending time doing his elearning at his grandparents’ house so they can keep a closer eye on him. Which is the blessing, they’re keeping him on track and he should be able to graduate on time. The prayer request is that they don’t lead him astray, they look at life through a political lens, not a biblical one.

    I didn’t ask for the help last week just exchanged prayer requests with a friend and she and her husband decided to bless us with a meal, I was so very grateful to not have to worry about cooking, cleaning up, or even having to take the time to pick up the meal. My first instinct when she said that they wanted to bless us was to say “we don’t need it” but God reminded me very quickly not to rob someone else of the opportunity to bless and I was so very blessed in return.

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 4, 2020 at 3:28 pm

      Sarah, This. Wow.
      Ok, praying for the surge of income to be used judiciously. Asking God to continue to keep your man safe, strong and healthy. And for your son to stand firm in Truth. Praising God for the blessing you received and for many answers to prayer. In Jesus name amen

Leave a Comment