Not Really So Shiny As I’d Like You to Believe

I like blonde jokes as much as the next girl.

My favorite one is how can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s white-out on the screen.

Want one more? What is a blonde’s favorite color?

Ok, last one, why do blondes always smile during thunderstorms?
They think someone is taking their picture.

These jokes make us chuckle because we can all relate to blonde jokes
Everyone makes mistakes.

But in real life, NOONE wants to look too “blonde”.

When my Grandma was young, she lived on the family farm.
Her mom, sisters, aunts, cousins and grandmother lived on the
same property if not in the same house. The advantage to having such close proximity
to family members of many generations is she was allowed to learn from them.
How to make a house a home.
How to grow and preserve food.
How to raise children.
How to handle husbands with respect.

You know what else you get to see in such close quarters?

Which in turn gave her permission to be imperfect.

See, today, it’s possible just to see glimpses of other people’s lives.
They look like they have it all together.
We look. We judge. We think…
smarter than me
prettier than me
better job than me
nicer car, kids, husband, house than me.

We NEED to live in community so we see that everyone has
weaknesses, flaws and soft spots!


If you’re like me, you might be reluctant to open yourself up to another person.
I’d much rather let you think I’m all together than prove I’m not!

But then, the temptation is to HUNKER DOWN and

The side of me that I think is okay enough to share.
Not the real me.

I really want you to think I have got it together so that you’ll like me.
So that you’ll accept me.

See, I don’t want you to know I never dust.
If you come to my house, don’t be moving stuff on the piano!
I certainly don’t want you to know that I wore someone
else’s shoes home from a party by mistake or
that I gave my social security number to a telemarketer!
My social security number!
To a telemarketer.
Who does that?
It took months to fix that mess!
Here’s the kicker.

If I can’t trust you with the dusting and the Social Security number debacle,
I’ll never trust you to be there for me with big stuff like …
an addiction
an affair
an arrest
an abuse.

It’s a lonely if not dangerous place to be
 hiding your flaws and imperfections.


Share your “blonde” moments.

Let others see you for real.

Just maybe your blonde moment will give someone else permission to be imperfect, too.

To be accepted for who she is, as she is.

Wouldn’t that be great!

Scripture Refresher: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, her friend can help her up. But pity the woman who falls and has no one to help her up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecc. 4:9-12 NIV

Prayer: Father, put me in community with women who will benefit from my experiences and are willing to share theirs. I don’t want to live isolated. Help me to know what to share, and when to share and how much to share. Amen.


  1. Shannon on April 15, 2016 at 2:43 am

    So true.

    It makes me love you more to know you wore somebody else’s shoes home. 🙂

  2. Annette on April 16, 2016 at 10:54 am

    When something happens in my life that is ugly, I pull back from friends and family that could help me get through it. I have been a Christian a long time and turn to God during those times, but you have helped me realize that I am not being a good steward of Gods promises. He has put people in our lives so He can work through them to help me during trials and to give those people the gift of being needed and trusted with the bad stuff instead of just sharing the great blessings God has given. (And there have been many.) Thanks for that. Big lesson to learn.

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 25, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      It’s a hard lesson for most of us to learn. The enemy wants us to hide and shames us into believing no one is interested or willing to walk hard or lonely roads with us. Such a lie. I’m glad you’ll be embracing support the nest time.

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