Perfectionism Leads To Isolation


Blonde Jokes

How can you tell if a blonde’s been using a computer?
There’s white-out on the screen.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter. 

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Judge Free Zones

These jokes make us chuckle because we can all relate to blonde jokes. Everyone has moments of silliness. But in real life, NO ONE wants to look too “blonde”. No one wants to be judged as foolish … or ignorant … or stupid. We all want to be accepted and appreciated.

In days gone by, several generations lived on the same property if not in the same house. The advantage to having such close proximity to multiple generations is you were allowed to learn from one another. 

  • How to make a house a home.
  • Prepare and preserve food.
  • Raise responsible children.
  • Handle husbands … with respect.

You know what else you get to see in such close quarters?

  • Problems!
  • Flaws!
  • Mistakes!

Which in turn gives you permission to be imperfect.

Snapshots of life

Today it’s possible just to see glimpses of other people’s lives. From that tiny snapshot on social media or Sunday morning church services, you conclude they have it all together. It’s easy to assume they live in nicer homes with better behaved kids and have husbands who put the toilet seat down and bring home flowers every day.

Living in Community

We NEED to live in community so we see that everyone has weaknesses, flaws and difficult seasons! Otherwise, we compare our real lives to our photoshopped view of someone else’s life. 

If you’re like me, you might even be reluctant to show the real you for fear of being rejected or judged.

I’d much rather let you think I’m all together than prove I’m not!  

 I certainly don’t want you to know that I wore someone else’s shoes home from a party by mistake or that I gave my social security number to a telemarketer!

My social security number!

To a telemarketer.

Who does that?

What a mess!

Building trust

Here’s the kicker. If I can’t trust you with the small stuff, I’ll never trust you to be there for me with big stuff like an …

  • addiction
  • affair
  • arrest
  • abuse.

Perfectionism leads to isolation.

It’s a lonely if not dangerous place to be hiding your flaws and imperfections. Perfectionism leads to isolation.

Build a safe community by sharing your silly moments, your  “blonde” moments with others to see if they laugh or if they judge. If they laugh with you and not at you, there is real potential for her to be a trusted friend with other bigger, more serious things.

How do you overcome the need to be seen as perfect and build community? Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear your ideas.

Oh, and if you have a good blonde joke to share, I’d love to read it.

Scripture: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, her friend can help her up. But pity the woman who falls and has no one to help her up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecc. 4:9-12 NIV

Prayer: Father, put me in community with women who will benefit from my experiences and are willing to share theirs. I don’t want to live isolated. Help me to know what to share, and when to share and how much to share. Amen.


  1. Jeanette on February 27, 2022 at 12:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing and encouraging. ?

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 27, 2022 at 6:27 pm

      Hi Jeanette, Thank you for posting!

  2. Patsy Sturey on February 28, 2022 at 2:36 am

    My dear Sister Robyn… your emails bring such joy to my heart and soul.
    It has been a tough two years from a pedophilia at our church who was convicted of touching three of our little girls, to the loss of many friends, my close cousin die-ing after his second vaccine and my brother-in-law who passed away with Covid… but through all that, I felt so close to our Savior. I felt Him and knew he never left my side.
    You are such a breath of fresh air in this messed up world. I feel His coming is NEAR…. thank you for your messages and love. Prayers for you and your family, always.
    Patsy Sturey

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