The Season Is Not Summer, It’s Menopause!

 “Honey, it’s summer! 
Isn’t it time to change out the flannel sheets
for something lighter?” 
Mr. 4-Ever asked innocently.

In theory I agree,
but in reality,
the season isn’t summer,
it’s menopause. 

In the season of life called menopause,
my body randomly flashes nuclear.

I thought women were kidding about melting,
but no, it’s true.   

And when the melting is done,
there is moisture,
and moisture needs flannel.
I want my flannel sheets because they are so absorbent.

After the moisture comes,
the heat subsides,
the evaporation begins,
and I am cold in 85 degree heat. 

I need the flannel sheets for their warmth. 

All this climate irregularity makes me a trifle agitated. 
I need the flannel sheets for the
snuggling comfort I used to get from Mr. 4-Ever
before I scared him to the opposite side of the bed.

“Don’t touch me, I’M HOT!!!”

Sound familiar to anyone?

You would think all that heat would
burn off a few extra calories,
but apparently,
instead of turning into energy,
I will be storing every calorie I ingest for the rest of my life.
I haven’t experienced weight gain like this since the
third trimester of pregnancy. 

I need my flannel sheets because,
though all my clothes
(including my socks)
are tight,
my flannel sheets are comfortable.   

My skin texture is changing. 
The flesh at my jaw, neck and chest is
starting to look a little crêpey.
Very reminiscent of nursing home residents
and raw chicken skin.

I need my flannel sheets to sustain the delusion that
my skin looks like it does in the morning from the
pattern of the bedding,
not aging. 

“No,” I tell Mr. 4-Ever,
“I think I’d like to keep the flannel sheets on for a little longer.”   

Flannel sheets in summer.
You won’t find that one on Pinterest. 
But if you’re in the season of menopause,
you will love it!

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

Prayer:  God, I know this is just a season, and it will pass.  Give me the grace and humor to traverse through it with cheer.  Thank you for every day and for flannel sheets.  Amen.