Skipping Mother’s Day

I miss my mom even though
it’s been nearly two decades since she died.

Time has mitigated the intense pain of the loss
but Mother’s Day is a sharp reminder of her earthly departure.

I miss her touch, her laugh, the smell of her perfume and
the way her hands enhanced every conversation. 

She never cooked or gardened or scrap-booked,
 but she taught me how to solve problems,
contend for big dreams, and
be kind to others.

She was my lifeline when I was discouraged and
my anchor when I was successful. 

She held me close when I was small and
she let me go when I was grown.

Now that she is gone, the very presence of her absence
is a constant reminder of how much I miss my mom.

Mother’s Day is right around the corner.
Everywhere you turn, there are reminders of it.
It’s a $20 billion holiday!

Maybe your family makes a big production out of Mother’s Day.
There will be cards and chocolates and bouquets.
Your day will be full of people swapping stories, laughing and hugging. 

Maybe Mother’s Day is just another Sunday with the bonus
of more people to take care of.
Even if your husband grills, it’s likely
you will plan, shop, and prep the meal.
No one will notice that you put away the leftovers,
do the dishes, and after everyone goes home,
wash the kitchen floor and vac up the crumbs under the dining room table.
You don’t mind, because it’s a small sacrifice to have your loves gathered together. 

Maybe Mother’s Day stirs up hard memories.

 Maybe your nest is empty.
Maybe your mama has passed, too.
Maybe you’re estranged from your mother.
Maybe you feel feel the shame of an abortion.
Maybe you wonder how the precious child you bravely
gave up for adoption is spending Mother’s Day.
Maybe Mother’s Day is a reminder of your empty womb.

Couldn’t we just skip Mother’s Day this year?

No Facebook brag-posts or floral arrangements.
No greeting cards from kids too far away to visit.
No painful memories to stir up.
No hurt feelings at church or on post Mother’s Day Monday from
comparing your celebration to “hers”.

Couldn’t we instead celebrate God’s Best Girls Day?

A day to remember that you are created in the image of God.
You are dearly and deeply loved.
You are not a mistake.
You are not a failure.
You are forgiven.
You are a prize of great value.
You are worthy of His sacrifice.
You are the masterpiece that God accepts and esteems.

Whether you want to skip it or celebrate Mother’s Day this year,
remember before there was Mother’s Day there was Abba Father.
And from His view,
You are the apple of His eye.
Even if no one else celebrates you on Mother’s Day,
God does.

Look for His acknowledgment that you are enough.
Listen for His whisper of affirmation to you.
Expect His love to touch your heart.
Ask for His Spirit to comfort you.
Watch for His favor to rest on you.

Scripture Refresher: See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 1 John 3:1 NIV

Prayer: God, thank you for celebrating me everyday. I rest in your love and acceptance of me. Amen.

What’s your take on Mother’s Day?
I’d love to hear from you and
will personally respond to as many comments as I can.


  1. Diane Wilczenski on May 11, 2016 at 3:02 am

    Hi Robyn,
    We met at Miracle Camp in Lawton Mi. I so enjoyed your messages. I was so blessed! I am happily married for 35 years and have 3 children, 2 daughters and a son. My son Andrew struggled with addiction until the disease took him September 11, 2013. He was only 20. I think of him daily .
    You spoke about community at the retreat. Talk about community! Within an hour of being notified of his passing we had 10 people in our little kitchen. Including my mom, our pastor, our sunday school teacher and 3 dear couples. I don’t know what I would have done without them. They held us, cried with us, prayed with us. Sometimes they didn’t say anything, just sat here and loved us.
    I said all that to say this- Mothers Day is hard. Sure my girls came over and called. I got flowers etc. I felt special. But I still miss Andrew. He left a hole that I don’t know if it will ever be filled! I envision what he’d be like if he was still here. What he’d be doing. God has given me peace and I know that He has been with us all through the grief process. I have been given opportunities to speak and pray with others who have children struggling with addiction. I have compassion for these families, I was quite judgmental of people with addictions before all this. I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this, you just were just so real and open I felt I could tell you that you have touched me. I will continue to keep studying and praying and reading. Seeking out Gods will for me.
    God Bless you Robyn,


    • Robyn Dykstra on May 13, 2016 at 12:26 pm

      What a wonderful story of the congregation being the church! Wow, thank you for sharing your story. It’s full of hope and encouragement even in the hardest of times. I’m sure your mind wanders over the trail of “what if” and that’s natural. I’m so glad you don’t let Andrew’s death keep you from enjoying the blessing and favor you do have. I am confident that God’s peace will continue to fill your heart and He will continue to use your experience to help others with a similar traumatic event. I hope our paths cross again, Diane. Peace, Robyn

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