3 Ways To Stop Beating Yourself Up!

Do you beat yourself up for making mistakes?

I was at the grocery store last week and purposely chose a check-out lane manned by one of my favorite cashiers. Alice is fast and friendly and packs my stuff like an engineer.

But as I looked over my receipt on my way out of the store, I realized she hadn’t credited me for a $5.00 coupon.

I wheeled my cart back to Alice’s lane and explained the sitch. Her face fell as she flipped through coupons in her drawer. “Is this it?” she said sharply as she thrust the coupon at me. “It is, thank you,” I said, “Sorry for the trouble.” As she turned away from me, she snarled to herself, “I do everything wrong!”

Whaaat the … ? Moments earlier, we’d had a very pleasant exchange. I’d chosen her. Smiled at her. Complimented her. Affirmed her. Then boom! It had all shifted over an innocent oversight. 

I was shocked, but then, it wasn’t all that long ago, I might have reacted the same way.

What you DO is not who you ARE.

When our reaction to correction or being questioned or critiqued results in a personal assault on who we are, rather than what we did, we need to make some adjustments to our silence our inner critic and stop being your own worst enemy.

The Bible says to take every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5) If you don’t boss your thoughts, those thoughts will boss you and take you captive.

Remember, you are the unique and wonderful creation of God Almighty. Created on purpose for a purpose. You’ve been designed to carry God’s image and participate in His good work on the Earth.

Rewrite the scenario.

Everyone falters and everyone fails. That does not make you a failure. Instead of calling yourself stupid, tell yourself you made a stupid mistake. Rather than say you never do anything right, say you dropped the ball this time. See the difference?

Replace lies with truth.

When I am tempted to sink into the pit of not enough, loser, or failure, I have to replace lies and accusations with truth. I have to focus on the truth of who God is and who He says I am.

  • God made me to love and be with him.
  • I am loved and accepted.
  • God does not make junk.
  • I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  • God forgives my failures and mis-steps.
  • I am forgiven.
  • God will never leave me
  • I don’t have to worry about being abandoned by God.
  • God gives me a fresh start when I ask for one.
  • I can reset and start over.

Affirmation partners.

We’ve all heard about accountability partners, and it’s definitely wisdom to have people in place to keep you on track, but have you got an Affirmation Partner?

When I am feeling like a big pile of dirty brown stuff, I call an Affirmation Partner and say, “I’m in the dumps. Tell me something good about me.” She fills my head and heart with true words I can’t think about myself in that state of mind. I write them on post-it notes and stick them where I’ll see them until I can believe those true words for myself again. 

What’s your best idea to stop beating yourself up? Share your ideas in the comments below.

Prayer: Father God, you made us to be vessels of love toward you, toward others and toward ourselves. When lies infiltrate our hearts, remind us of who you are and who we are to YOU. Replace the lies with truth through Holy Spirit whispers or an Affirmation Friend. In Jesus Name, we pray. amen


  1. Shannon M Popkin on February 10, 2020 at 3:19 am

    Love this, Robyn! Especially the “Affirmation Partner” idea!

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 10, 2020 at 2:14 pm

      Thanks Shannon. We all have them, but rarely utilize them. I’m hoping that naming them will give us all permission to find and be an Affirmation Partner.

  2. Pat Church on February 10, 2020 at 3:25 am

    This is exactly what I needed to hear after experiencing my own blooper! Thank you for the encouragement, Robyn!

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 10, 2020 at 2:13 pm

      Thanks for posting Pat. Appreciate YOU, too.

  3. Alinda Penix on February 10, 2020 at 12:07 pm

    It is so great to be reminded of who God says I am especially when we are tempted to play the comparison game or believe the lie that we are “less than.” I love the
    “Affirmation Partner” idea as well. Thanks, Robyn!

    • Robyn Dykstra on February 10, 2020 at 2:13 pm

      Indeed. Thanks for posting. We all need a boost in confidence and an Affirmation Partner is a safe and private way to get it. Do you have someone in mind?

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