Too Much Togetherness?



Is there such a thing as too much togetherness?

Last summer Dave and I went to a conference in Toronto, Canada. We were TOGETHER for six days. Joined at the hip together!
In the car.
In the hotel room.
At the conference.
Ministering … together! 

It was great, but I have to admit, I was happy to be home and get back into my routines. To have a little “me” time. I know you know what I mean, don’t you?

On my first morning home, while I was having my quiet time, Dave came in and said, “Oh, good morning! Let me get my coffee and sit right next to you. We haven’t spent any down time together for a while.” 

Honestly, at first I thought, “Arrgh, I do not have time for a meandering conversation or meaningful togetherness right now! I have to unpack, do laundry, take a friend in for a colonoscopy, pick up something for dinner, write my Bible study leaders to see how they are doing, finish my blog and make a dessert for tomorrow night! I do not have any time for you!” 

Fortunately, the Holy Spirit, said, “Sit tight and listen.”

At the heart of any relationship is the time spent together when it’s accessible, not just when it’s convenient. Spending time working out solutions to problems and spending time just being, just talking, and just enjoying each other’s company. 

Whether you are Velcroed to kids all day, swamped by co-worker’s questions or connected at the hip to your hubz, the time we invest in our relationships is what makes them work.

That applies to your relationship with God as well. Are you giving him the time of day? Are you quiet long enough to hear his still small voice whispering to you? Does he feel close and affirming or distant and aloof? How are you experiencing Holy Spirit at work in your life?

For any relationship to work, you have to put in the time.

For a deeper connection with God, set aside a time (most days) to read his Word. It will reveal God’s love for you, reveal his character and speak to your situation. I know it can be inconvenient, it’s time well spent. 

There are a variety of systems to read the Bible. You don’t have to read for an hour, just do a little bit most days. Read a chapter a day. Ask Siri or other device to read you a story from the Old Testament while you do your makeup or drive to work. Don’t look at this reading (or listening) of the Bible as a chore. Think of it as a date to look forward to.

There is no such thing as too much togetherness with God.

Spending time in his Word and in prayer assures you of God’s love and acceptance. It fortifies your faith in his ability and willingness to intervene on your behalf. It establishes you as worthy and significant.

What are you reading these days to strengthen your relationship with your Creator?

I’m in Exodus, reading about Moses and the courage he mustered to serve God as he led the Hebrews out of Egypt. (I might have quit after the water turned to blood, yuck!) But, I’m hearing God whisper to me through that story that he will equip me as I follow him for the tasks he calls me to. 

Leave me a comment to tell me what God is saying to you through his word. 

Verse for today:  I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV)

Prayer: Father, I want to know you better. I want to believe more. I want to be able to trust you fully. Put a “want to” in me to spend time with you most days. In Jesus Name. Amen.


  1. Loretta Miller on April 20, 2020 at 12:02 am

    I talked with you at a conference at my church about wanting to share “my story.” I talked with Theresa Nardozi, the women’s director, and we talked about ways I could share. Then COVID hit. I have been praying and asking my small group to pray also so that I could understand what God wants me to do. Now that tax season is over for me I feel God is telling me to sit down and write “my story” — God is always there. Thank you for taking the time to talk with me. I would appreciate your prayers and thank you for sharing “your story” with me and other women.

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 20, 2020 at 4:56 pm

      Hi Loretta,
      Yes, I remember you. Now is an excellent time write your story. If I may make a suggestion? Do the brain-dump of your story. Get it all out, then go back and edit it. Well done!

  2. Arlene Grebe on April 20, 2020 at 1:30 am

    I am doing a power reading of the Bible in 60 days.It is from the Power Of The Seed. We started on Easter. Actually I just started on Exodus. Since I never had read through the whole Bible, and the church is doing it all together, I wanted to finally sit down each day, take time to read a part of it, and hopefully understand it better. That is my goal. What better time to do it, then now.

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 20, 2020 at 4:55 pm

      That really is a power read, Arlene! You’ll have to circle back when you’re done to share your insights! Thanks for posting!!! Maybe others will join the challenge!

  3. Sheryl King on April 20, 2020 at 1:13 pm

    oh my goodness, this is so true! And God has really been speaking to me about this as well. My husband comes in to where I am studying or working and he just wants to hang out and talk….in my head I’m thinking, “really? I don’t have time for this”. And then the Holy Spirit says, “be quiet and listen- give him your time”
    I think what it gets down to for me is selfishness. OUCH! I don’t want to be bothered, his meandering conversations are annoying, I don’t care what his buddy texted him……Yet, we can go to God with anything…I’m not saying I’m God…I’m just experiencing through Jesus that I need to model His love, even when it’s inconvenient.
    Reading? Much! One thing I am loving about this time is that I am getting so much more time with the Lord; and I’m growing!
    I’ve had a life affected by fear..but God is walking me through this – using His word, dear friends who pray with and for me, authors who have written some great stuff (Robby Dawkins, Bruce Van Natta, Joyce Meyer, John Ramirez, John G. Lake….etc) The one thing I have learned that has made a HUGE difference in my walk is obedience. How did I not really understand that my rebelliousness opened the door to the enemy in my life? God is so good and is helping me close them! Repentance is real, and powerful. Be blessed! Sheryl

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 20, 2020 at 4:53 pm

      Woo Hooo! So excited to read this Sheryl. Thank you for posting! It’s very encouraging.

  4. Ruth Rottier on April 20, 2020 at 2:32 pm

    I just want to put your comments about too much togetherness in perspective. I have been a widow for three years and you have no idea how I would love to have my husband walk in and “interrupt” me. Be thankful ladies you have a hubby to be interrupted by.
    I read a Psalm every day and am so comforted by the many promises in them. God is so good and so faithful. It’s all about attitude. He is with us and we WILL get through this.

    Love you

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 20, 2020 at 4:50 pm

      Hi Ruth,
      Thank you so much for reminding me that no everyone has an interrupter. I appreciate you. Thanks for posting. It is always about attitude!

    • Sheryl A King on April 28, 2020 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Ruth, Thank you so much….and you are absolutely correct. I know we are all at different places and I truly want my husband to be here, I’m just realizing how selfish I can be at times. Thank you for reminding me that not all of us are at the same place.
      With love, Sheryl

  5. Diane Traynor on April 20, 2020 at 3:21 pm

    Hi Robyn, it’s amazing the timing of your message!(God is soooo good)!! I have been struggling with the time I actually devote to my Savior. I do a bible devotion every morning but do not sit there long enough (no interruptions, mind you) to listen to Him, wait on Him. So I’ve asked for prayer from friends and am praying for the Holy Spirit to kick me sensible?

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 20, 2020 at 4:51 pm

      Hi Diane,
      There is no better time than right now to set aside a little time to sit at Jesus feet and wait for Holy Spirit to minister, speak, affirm or deliver you. 🙂

  6. Sherry Booth on April 21, 2020 at 5:59 pm

    Hi Robyn
    I love this post….spending lots of time with hubby and with God. My life is not very busy right now so am enjoying no schedule. We do have a routine of sorts that we have drifted into. When I am in the bedroom with the door closed my husband knows I am hanging out with the Lord. When he is in his recliner with his headphones on I know he is hanging out with the Lord. We still have plenty of us time.
    My battle has been with fear and anxiety so my focus on God had been through scriptures that teach, remind me of His care. Like another reader posted, did I really not understand that rebellion and disobedience opened a door to the enemy of my soul???God have mercy. Would appreciate your prayers. Thank you for your ministry?

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 21, 2020 at 8:08 pm

      Hey Sherry,
      This thing is revealing so much in us, what we really put our trust in and how busy (most of us) we used to be.
      So thankful for the opportunity to study God’s word and find the truth about worry and restoration.

      Lord God, we (Sherry and I) come to you and ask for your Presence. Reveal to her the pathway to complete restoration through the forgiveness of sins. Push back the darkness and flood her with Light. Invade her time with you through your word, in worship music and Holy Spirit revelation. We ask this in the name of Jesus! amen

  7. Ruthie on April 21, 2020 at 7:49 pm

    Our pastor often poses questions to our congregation like “how much do we pray?” and “how much do we read the Word?”… he even throws in an occasional “how much do we love our spouse/kids?” and we respond “Not enough!”

    We’ve been blessed with a pastor who refuses to focus on the amounts (minutes, hours, chapters, number of members, number of ministries) but wants us all to have a heart that desires MORE time with the Lord, MORE time studying His Word, MORE people saved, MORE ministries reaching the lost. Whether the amounts are little or big, I pray my heart will respond “Not enough!” because I truly desire more depth of relationship with my Savior!

    • Robyn Dykstra on April 21, 2020 at 8:09 pm

      I agree Ruthie. Give her MORE Lord. Douse her with your peace and wisdom for the day. amen!

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