What Does Mother’s Day Stir Up For You?

Do I say, “Happy Mother’s Day!” or is
“I’m sorry this day is on the calendar,” more appropriate?

Time has mitigated the intense pain of my mom’s death
but Mother’s Day is a sharp reminder of her earthly departure.
I miss her touch, her laugh, the smell of her perfume and
the way her hands enhanced every conversation. 

She never cooked or gardened or scrap-booked,
but she taught me how to solve problems,
contend for big dreams, and be kind to others.

She was my lifeline when I was discouraged and
my anchor when I was successful. 

She held me close when I was small and
she let me go when I was grown.

Now that she is gone, the very presence of her absence
is a constant reminder of how much I miss my mom.

Everywhere you turn, there are reminders of Mother’s Day.

Maybe your family makes a big production out of Mother’s Day.
There will be cards and chocolates and bouquets.
Your day will be full of people swapping stories, laughing and hugging. 

Maybe Mother’s Day is just another Sunday
with the bonus of more people than usual to take care of.
Even if your husband grills, it’s likely
you will plan, shop, and prep the meal.
No one will notice that you put away the leftovers,
do the dishes, and after everyone goes home,
wash the kitchen floor and vac up the crumbs under the dining room table.
You don’t mind, because it’s a small sacrifice to have your loves gathered together.

Maybe Mother’s Day stirs up hard memories.
Maybe your nest is empty.
Maybe your mama has passed, too.
Maybe you’re estranged from your mother.
Maybe you feel feel the shame of an abortion.
Maybe you wonder how the precious child you bravely
gave up for adoption is spending Mother’s Day.
Maybe Mother’s Day is a reminder of your empty womb.

I wish Mother’s Day were kinder to us all.

I don’t mean to be ugly, but it’s a tough holiday for so many of us.
I’d like to skip it – at least every other year.
No Facebook brag-posts or floral arrangements.
No greeting cards from kids too far away to visit.
No painful memories to stir up.
No hurt feelings at church or post-Mother’s Day Monday from
comparing your celebration to “hers”.

Couldn’t we instead celebrate some version of God’s Best Girls Day?

A day to remember that you are created in the image of God.
You are dearly and deeply loved.
You are not a mistake.
You are not a failure.
You are forgiven.
You are a prize of great value.
You are worthy of His sacrifice.
You are the masterpiece that God accepts and esteems.

Whether you want to celebrate Mother’s Day this year,
or skip it entirely, remember before there was Mother’s Day
there was Abba Father, and you are the apple of His eye.
Even if no one else celebrates you on Mother’s Day,
God does.

Look for His acknowledgment that you are enough.
Listen for His whisper of affirmation to you.
Expect His love to touch your heart.
Ask for His Spirit to comfort you.
Watch for His favor to rest on you.

What does today stir up for you? Leave a comment below.

Scripture Refresher: See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 1 John 3:1 NIV

Prayer: God, thank you for celebrating me everyday. I rest in your love and acceptance of me. Amen


  1. Barbara McElroy on May 16, 2018 at 10:17 pm

    Robyn I was very grateful for your email on Mother’s Day. I have dreaded Mother’s Day since my days in the cult. There was so much pressure to “be” the Proverbs 31 woman that Mother’s Day usually ended up very stressful. I always ended up very depressed and usually becoming exactly the opposite of what I wanted so much to be. Like Paul said, the good I wanted to do, I didn’t do and the evil I didn’t want to know, I did. That’s what I felt like. Having been out of the cult for 28 years you would think I would be over it but I am not. This year I went to church with the same feelings hoping the message was not on Proverbs 31 and Praise God it wasn’t. The message was about Joshua and to me it spoke that we will be in a battle but God is always with us. Nothing I didn’t know but it spoke to me in a way that’s hard to explain. Then I got your email and how nice to be reaffirmed that I’m not crazy. Thank you so much!! I hope your Mother’s Day was wonderful!

    • Robyn Dykstra on May 17, 2018 at 1:18 am

      The enemy is real. So glad you recognize the assaults and go to battle.
      Keep standing firm.

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